Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population of the population living in cities in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020,with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

overall ,after a quick glance , it can be clearly seen that the percentage in Malaysia will be the highest by 2040,while Thailand will have the lowest percentage of the population. Meanwhile Indonesia not only start from lowest figure of population but also shows steady growth in population by the end of 2040.

To begin with, the percentage of people living in cities in Malaysia is projected to increase from 33% in 1970 to 80% in 2040.The figure of Philippines population is fluctuated from 30% to 55% by 2040.Although , Thailand population is projected to rise gradually from 19% to approximately 45% ,it will have lowest percentage of total population. Furthermore ,the amount of Indonesia population will be risen 35% in 2040

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the overall direction of change and make relevant comparisons, including Malaysia becoming the highest and Thailand remaining comparatively low. However, the overview is incomplete: Indonesia does not finish lowest; it is projected to reach about 64%, above the Philippines and Thailand. Several figures are inaccurate or unclear: Malaysia starts at about 30%, not 33%, and reaches roughly 84%, while Indonesia rises to about 64%, not 35%. The Philippines fluctuates, but its starting point is about 32%, not 30%. The response also contains only 141 words, below the required 150, and the 10 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from that count. Add a fuller, accurate overview and key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to country-specific details. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “To begin with,” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between points. However, the progression is limited because the final paragraph lists figures without a clear comparison or consistent grouping, and the response ends abruptly after the Indonesia point. Some transitions feel mechanical, while punctuation and spacing—such as “overall ,after a quick glance” and “2040.The”—interrupt the flow. Organise the details into clearer comparisons, for example grouping the strongest urbanisation trends together, and use paragraphing and linking phrases to guide the reader through the whole period.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “percentage,” “projected,” “gradually,” and “steady growth,” so the topic is generally clear. There is some attempt to vary expression, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “the figure of Philippines population is fluctuated” and “the amount of Indonesia population” do not express the data naturally. Repeating “percentage of the population” also makes the description less precise. Choose standard terms for chart descriptions, such as “the proportion of people living in cities” and “the figure for Indonesia,” and use verbs like “rose,” “increased,” or “fluctuated” in their correct forms. More accurate collocations would make the account clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast with “Although” and a paired structure with “not only…but also.” However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences. Examples include “the percentage of the population of the population,” “the figure … is fluctuated,” and “the amount … will be risen,” which show problems with repetition, verb forms, and sentence construction. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent comma use, as in “2040.The.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise forming accurate past and future descriptions—for example, “rose from … to …” and “is projected to reach …”—and check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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