Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Working long hours at office and having less time to be free for leisure activities if good if one needs finaancial freedom. However, I believe there are some impacts that are harmful to an individual health.

Firstly, it is said that working longer hours bring more money. People willing to earn more work more to get money. Not only this. but also there are some bussinesses that provide hourly pay so those who work more get more pay. This helps them in not getting stressed with money related problems. For instance, the one who are working as a teacher get more money as they can take more than 5-6 classes in a day.

Even though employees work hard, taking on additional tasks, it may eventually result in having far less time for leisure. This can simply mean that people may experience fatigue without having sufficient time to get enough rest, which can ultimately lead to even higher levels of stress and anxiety. For instance, construction workers who regularly work long hours may have little opportunity to rest after physically demanding shifts, which can leave them exhausted and under considerable stress. As important as money is for people who are in need, health should come first, since being physically and mentally exhausted can make it considerably more difficult to perform their work effectively.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that although working long hours can provide people with a higher income, the negative effects on their physical and mental health are more significant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you acknowledge that longer hours can increase income, but argue that the harm to health is greater. Both sides are relevant, and the examples of teachers earning more through extra classes and construction workers becoming exhausted help support your points. This meets the task well, and the health argument is developed with consequences such as stress and reduced work effectiveness. However, the financial-benefit point is less fully explored: explain more specifically what greater income enables, and qualify the claim that longer hours bring more money, since this depends on the job. A little more balanced development of both sides would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, separate body paragraphs discuss income and health, and the conclusion restates your judgement. The progression from the possible financial benefit to the more serious personal costs is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Even though,” and “In conclusion” help signal this structure. At times, however, the connections are mechanical or unclear. “Not only this. but also” is incorrectly punctuated and does not link smoothly to the preceding point, while “Even though employees work hard…” introduces a contrast without clearly connecting it to the financial argument. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss income, work, and wellbeing, including “financial freedom,” “fatigue,” “physically demanding shifts,” and “mentally exhausted.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and some phrases show an attempt to be precise. However, spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “finaancial,” “bussinesses,” and “money related problems.” Some expressions are also awkward or imprecise, such as “time to be free for leisure activities” and “get more pay.” Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for the financial benefits and the effects of overwork would add flexibility and help the argument sound more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional opening and clauses with “which” and “since.” Several sentences communicate detailed cause-and-effect relationships clearly, particularly the explanation that insufficient rest can lead to stress and anxiety. Some grammatical errors remain, though they generally do not prevent understanding. For example, the opening lacks a clear main verb structure (“Working long hours… and having less time… if good”), and “the one who are working” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Even though employees work hard” also has an unclear construction. Review sentence completeness, agreement, and punctuation, especially around “Not only this. but also.” More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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