Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this fast moving world, people have no free time they alway working in their daily like. However, few people say large numbers of people work twenty for by seven in their daily life due to this they have no free time for other activities like walking, talking with friends and family members. In my point of view, working for whole day without any taking off for health is leads some disadvantages for them which we discuss in below.

On the one hand, nowadays everyone want to became a rich person and for that reason they just working hard for every single day without taking free time for them-self. They are not doing any kind of physical exercise like walking, walking and yoga. Moreover, working for whole day in laptop or computer make person very angry. They start shouting in each and every small mistakes which is not good for their health. For example, according to the time of India Newspaper research 65% of Indian youngster became frustrate and angry without any problem just because of they are not doing any types of healthy activities in their daily life.

Secondly, working for log hours make their weak bond with their family members and friends. He or she work for whole day and when they come back late at night every one is already asleep so they can not get chance to talk with family members and their child. For Instance, as per report of Webster University of Missouri 87% of people work late at night and they loss their family bond just because they are unable to spent some free time with them.

In conclusion, high number of people working for long hours without talking off time for them due to this they problems like they became more aggressive and they lost their family bond just because they do not have free time.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the disadvantages of working long hours. However, the task asks whether there are more advantages or disadvantages, and the response fails to provide a balanced view or a clear argument regarding the 'more' aspect, focusing exclusively on the negative side. While the position is clear, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding health and family bonds. The examples provided, such as the 'Time of India' research, are relevant but lack sufficient detail to fully support the argument. To improve, you should ensure you address the comparative nature of the question and provide more nuanced development of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is sometimes weak due to awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, which makes some sentences feel disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'angry', 'good', and 'bad', and there are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'taking off for health' instead of 'taking time off for health' and 'log hours' instead of 'long hours'. There are also spelling errors like 'alway' instead of 'always' and 'frustrate' instead of 'frustrated'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are accurate and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people... is leads'), incorrect verb tenses ('everyone want to became'), and missing articles or prepositions. For example, 'working for whole day in laptop' should be 'working all day on a laptop'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a great starting point for improvement.

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