Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been observed that in this contemporary epoch, a significant number of people are working long hours as a result they do not get enough time for other activities such as playing sports or spending quality time with their family. I concur with the statement, above and strongly believe their are many drawbacks of these cause such as; poor nutrition, stress and obesity.

To begin with, employees nowadays are so invested, in work that they do not take care of their nutrition properly. They miss important meals sometimes to fulfill their job requirement. To add on, working 12-14 hours everyday in your office leaves you with no time for investing on yourself, as a result people suffer from health relative disease such as obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. To exemplify, if employees can spend their precious in performing any physical activity such as yoga, gym or playing any kind of sport it can help their body to heal from work pressure and can result in improving their overall cognitive performance.

Moreover, work and personal life balance plays a crucial role in everybody's life therefore, not spending sufficient time with your family or friends cand result in misunderstanding or fading of bond. This turbulence can affect an employer in a negative way which will affect his/her performance at workplace. To elucidate, big MNC are making strict policies, for employees that no one should work more than 8 hours each day at work so that they get time to manage their personal chores that they are responsible for.

To conclude, disadvantages outweigh advantages therefore, it is essential to make a balance between work and other duties like spending time on your health, nutrition and family should not be neglected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have clearly addressed the prompt by taking a position that the disadvantages of working long hours outweigh the advantages. You identified key negative impacts such as poor health and strained relationships. To improve, ensure that you fully develop your ideas. For instance, while you mention 'poor nutrition' and 'obesity', you could provide a more specific example of how a workplace environment directly causes these issues, rather than just listing them. The response is well-structured and maintains a consistent position throughout, which is a strong point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

Your essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'as a result they do not get' (which lacks a conjunction) and 'To add on'. Additionally, some punctuation errors, such as the semicolon usage after 'such as', disrupt the flow. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help you achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary epoch', 'turbulence', and 'cognitive performance'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'health relative disease' (should be 'health-related diseases') and 'big MNC' (should be 'large multinational corporations'). You also have some minor spelling or phrasing issues, such as 'their are' instead of 'there are'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include comma splices, subject-verb agreement issues ('big MNC are'), and incorrect word forms ('health relative disease'). The misuse of punctuation, particularly the semicolon usage and unnecessary commas, is noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and pluralization to ensure your complex sentences are error-free.

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