Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The discussion of working for longer hours is surely one that begs the question of exactly whether it is beneficial for day to day lifestyle or otherwise. In my opinion, leaving less or no time for leisure activities have several disadvantages, which will be discussed in this essay.

One clear fact is that working longer hours has a direct impact on a person's mental age. Take for instance, sedentary lifestyle is the major cause of obesity in the America. As per recent medical surveys, people with less involvement in leisure activities tend to become more disease prune than who are involved.

Nevertheless, it also depends on the nature of the work. People working in high intensity jobs does not necessarily follows the same pattern as throughout their day they are getting physically exhausted and burning calories. However, humans with office jobs are majorly impacted if they are not taking time for after office activities. Because with time they will become lazy and most likely to start waking up tired even after having good 8 hours of sleep.

We cannot ignore the fact that people who works tirelessly tend to have better impression on their managers than others. Moreover, they get paid highly and more likely to get early promotions. Since they are working most of the time, they become less accident prune.

To conclude, both sides present strong arguments. However, I opine that the demerits of working too much outweighs its merits. People should create balance in their lives. There is an old saying, excess of anything is dangerous. Government should spread awareness regarding benefits of leisure activities among individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, ultimately taking a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding mental health and obesity is a bit disjointed, and the point about 'accident prune' (prone) is unclear in its connection to working long hours. While the essay covers the requirements, the supporting examples are somewhat superficial and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that each point is fully explained with logical links to the core question of whether the situation is beneficial or detrimental.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing. For instance, the transition between the discussion of physical health and office jobs could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated and varied to improve the natural flow of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation. For example, 'disease prune' should be 'disease-prone', and 'accident prune' is an incorrect usage. Additionally, 'mental age' is used incorrectly to refer to mental health. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, these errors occasionally impede clarity. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for common phrases and ensure you are using words in their appropriate context rather than relying on literal translations or misremembered idioms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the writing. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'people who works' (should be 'work') and 'jobs does not' (should be 'do not'). There are also errors with articles and pluralization, such as 'in the America' and 'humans with office jobs'. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Increasing your focus on proofreading for basic agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

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