Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is undeniable fact that today's world is becoming a never ending race. A number of peolpe are working for longer duration, which leave them very less time for personal care and activities. While some believe it is postive trend, other reject this notion. In my opinion the drawbacks of this trend are more than the benefits. This essay will analyse the merits and demerits of this trends.

To begin with, individuals are earning more money that will make their life more comfortable. They will be able to buy luxury items such as clothes, cars and electronic gadgets. The standards of living will increased as income raise. After all, humas work to live better life and working for more hours give them money to fullfil their dreams. For example, a person can buy things without thinking about cost and its effects on his budgets. Hence, the life has more materialistic items.

On the other hand, not only do working for long hours costs health, but also have poor effects on mental and physical health. The workers, who spends majority of the day in workplace and commuate to their residential places, hardly left time for self care. They are not able to cook fresh meals, sleep for enough hours and invest in emotional relationships which require time. As a result, after few years they will more weak body and no soical connection left.

In conclusion, although for short time working for more hours is benefica,l yet I believe in long run it will damage the body and soical life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the advantages (financial gain) and disadvantages (health and social impact) and concluded that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding financial gain is quite brief and could be further extended with more specific examples of how this impacts long-term life satisfaction. The conclusion is also a bit abrupt. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the consequences, rather than just stating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'As a result' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You use common terms like 'never ending race', 'luxury items', and 'social connection'. While these are accurate, there is a lack of less common or idiomatic vocabulary that would demonstrate a higher level of control. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'income raise' (should be 'income rises') and 'no soical connection left' (should be 'no social connections remaining'). Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'It is undeniable fact' (missing article), 'leave them very less time' (should be 'much less time'), and 'they will more weak body' (should be 'they will have weaker bodies'). These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing auxiliary verbs or prepositions.

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