Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It has been see that, a lot of people prefer spending most of their time in career development rather than engaging into social activities . This however, has shown to have more detrimental effect to their everyday life.

To begin with, most people in the society, who rather focus on their jobs than leisure, have been seen to have developed health issues such as hypertension, diabetes and some serious cases mental health conditions. This is based on the fact that, they do not give their body time to rest after working for long hours. For instance, a CEO of a global company who works day and night, gets little or no sleep and solely depends on drinking hard coffee every morning, is at risk of falling sick and probably get hospitalized.

Furthermore, there have also been high rate of divorce cases. This is as a result of unavailability of one of the spouses who devote more time in working than spending it with their family. For example, A husband who toil every day, even on the weekends and also during the holidays will not have time to spend with his wife and children. He will miss the important occasions such as football games, anniversaries and lots more, which will eventually lead to emotional detachment and then separation.

Fortunately, money must be made as most people will say. Working long hours means making extra money. There is increase in payment of salaries, promotions and bonuses for those who take on long working hours. But, no amount of money can equate for good health and family time.

In conclusion, irrespective of the fact that money is important in our everyday lives, it should be noted that quality health and family relationships should be prioritized when making career decisions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The response addresses the prompt effectively by taking a clear position that the disadvantages of working long hours outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant and logically developed, particularly the points regarding health and family life. The essay covers all parts of the task, providing reasons and examples for the chosen stance. While the discussion of the 'advantages' is brief, it is sufficient to acknowledge the counter-argument before dismissing it in favor of the main argument. To reach a higher band, the student could expand slightly more on the 'advantages' to provide a more balanced view before reinforcing their primary position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, such as health impacts or family issues. Cohesive devices like 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' are used appropriately to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words. Referencing is generally clear, and the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication. The student uses some topic-specific terms like 'career development,' 'hypertension,' 'emotional detachment,' and 'anniversaries.' However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'detrimental effect to' (should be 'on') and 'equate for' (should be 'compensate for'). The range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions would be needed to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'It has been see that' (should be 'seen'), 'high rate of divorce cases' (should be 'a high rate'), and 'A husband who toil' (should be 'toils'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with comma placement and article usage. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score in this category.

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