Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Increasing the number of individuals who are choosing to work longer than regular hours, and they do not have enough time to spend for leisure activities. Although, spending more time at the workplace makes people financial strong, it also has some demerits, such as weak relationships with family and health issue.

To commence with, working longer hours helps people to make more money. When people do two jobs or overtime at the workplace, they are able to make enough money, which can be used to have a comfortable life and complete their dreams by buying cars and expensive things. For example, in developed countries most of citizens decides to work longer hours so that they can run their expenses and visit anywhere around the work without thinking about budget.

Moving towards the drawbacks is that spending too much time at the workplace may keep away parents form the children. When people work longer hours, they are completely exhausted by work load. After doing the dinner, they choose to go to bed because they have to follow the same routine next day. It leads to decreasing in relation with their loves ones. Secondly, health problems, such as bad vision. sitting a long time front of a computer screen may affect on people's eyesight. For example, in Canada more than 70% people are suffering from poor vision problem in their young age because they working longer front of a computer screen in the office. I believe that people should work regular hours so that their valuable time can be spent with family and for fun activity

In conclusion, although, working longer hours can bring some benefits in people's life by making more money, negative side of this can not be ignored which can effect in making relation weak and having bad vision.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding financial benefits is supported by general statements about buying cars, but it lacks depth. The disadvantages are more clearly articulated, particularly the impact on family life and health. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your supporting points with more nuanced analysis rather than relying on simple examples. Overall, the response is relevant and maintains a consistent focus on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moving towards the drawbacks', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the opening sentence which is a fragment rather than a complete thought. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'demerits', 'exhausted', and 'workload'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'financial strong' instead of 'financially stable' and 'decreasing in relation' instead of 'strained relationships'. There is also a reliance on simpler vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and varied synonyms to convey your points with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('most of citizens decides'), preposition errors ('affect on'), and awkward phrasing ('they working longer front of'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not prevent the overall meaning from being understood. Increasing your control over basic grammar and refining complex structures will help improve your score in this criterion.

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