Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, working long hours to achieve financial freedom have become a trend among present generation. This essay will explain why this trend have more disadvantages than advantagers before sharing my point of view.

On of the biggest drawback is health problems, when people work for long hours without proper rest, they start feeling weak, tired and sleepy and so on. Therefore, in long run they face much serious health hasards such as dimansea, vitamin disuficiance and many other. In addition, personal realtions with family and friends also get effected by working long hours. When individuals spent maximum time at work, so they do not have leisure time to spend with their loved once. Consequently, by managing proper work-line balance will best for them.

Whereas, some people love to work long hours beecause they want to achieve early financial freedom in life before starting married life. while, work long hours for few year the get the financial freedom their are look for. Therefore, when they get married they have planty of time to spen with their family without any worry of source of income.

In my opinoin, whereas working long hours for few year help individuals active early success in their life, the drawback associated with it will pull in the favour of them.

In conclusion, undoubtedly, to get financial independence working long hours is trend among present generation, but for that ondividuals have to compromise their health and personal bonding that make this decision not worthy for the long run.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours, ultimately taking a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the mention of 'health problems' and 'personal relations' is relevant but lacks specific, well-developed examples to fully support the arguments. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of the response is restricted by the brevity of the supporting points. To improve, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations or concrete examples for each point raised to ensure the response is fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'Whereas' at the start of the third paragraph, which does not effectively contrast with the previous paragraph. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed due to grammatical errors, which occasionally disrupts the flow of information. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help your ideas flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your main points. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'hasards', 'dimansea', 'disuficiance', 'realtions', 'opinoin', 'ondividuals') and word choice issues (e.g., 'pull in the favour of them') that detract from the quality of the writing. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial freedom' and 'work-line balance', the frequent spelling mistakes and imprecise phrasing limit your score. Focusing on proofreading your work to correct basic spelling errors and learning more precise collocations will significantly improve your lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('working long hours... have become', 'this trend have more'), incorrect verb forms ('they get the financial freedom their are look for'), and punctuation errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound, particularly when attempting more complex sentences.

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