Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many individuals prefer to work overtime; as a consequence, they have almost no time to do extra activities that improve their overall mood. I believe that is completely a wrong approach and can have detrimental impacts on individuals' lives. This essay will explain why disadvantages of this perspective outweigh its advantages using relevant examples.

Firstly, working overtime can help people financially, albeit impacts their personal lives. If dwellers have no time to do extra-curricular activities apart from their job, then they would not be able to follow their passion, eventually jeopardizing their own growth. For example, I wanted to become a pilot when I was adult but could not become because I choose to work instead of follow my passion, which eventually ruined my future version. Hence, compromising passion over job can have negative effects on professional career.

Secondly, an another factor that needs to be considered is health impacts. If a person is not getting enough rest, then their body would be able to work effectively, leading chronic physical issues. For instance, in India, the obesity rate has surged from 12% to 23% within one year due to residents had no time to work on their body apart from their jobs. Hence, Forcing body to work overtime exacerbates health issues.

To conclude, the health issues have become a pervasive issue among people, which was occurred due to working overtime. Even though getting financially stable by working overtime can have substantial positive results, I think compromising our own health and passion for a job is not good for the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the disadvantages of working long hours outweigh the advantages. The essay covers both sides of the argument, though the development is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph attempts to discuss the financial benefits but quickly shifts to personal regret, which lacks a strong, objective example. The second paragraph provides a specific example regarding obesity rates in India, which is a good attempt at supporting the argument. However, the reasoning in the first paragraph is slightly personal and anecdotal rather than analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more generalized, logical reasoning rather than relying on personal narratives.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'To conclude' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the logical flow within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the transition between the financial benefit and the personal consequence in the first paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing in the final paragraph ('which was occurred') is grammatically awkward, which slightly disrupts the flow of the conclusion. Overall, the structure is logical, but the management of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'detrimental', 'pervasive', and 'exacerbates', which are used correctly. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'dwellers' (which is not the best fit for people in a workplace context) and 'future version'. The phrase 'which was occurred' is a notable error in word formation. While the range is sufficient to convey the message, more precise and varied vocabulary would elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'I wanted to become a pilot when I was adult but could not become because I choose to work', 'an another factor', and 'due to residents had no time'. These errors in verb tense, article usage, and sentence construction are noticeable. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of complex sentence connectors, as the current level of error is consistent throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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