Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this fast moving modern era, there is a notion among many individuals to work extra hours to support their families. Due to which, they hardly get any time for themselves. The upcoming paragraphs will justify why negative impacts are more than positive impacts.

On the one hand, some people argue that working overtime is an effective way for them to earn extra money to fulfil dreams of their family members. So, they use the hard earned money to support their family members during period of high inflation. Also, many work longer shifts to accomplish their individual goals, and impress their senior managers. Because of which, it creates an opportunity for them to be a bright employee in eyes of the employer, and grab early promotions.

On the other hand, I personally believe that working more than required hours results in various consequences. Firstly, one cannot provide sufficient quality time to their family members. Hence, the boundary between personal and professional life gets impacted, and leading to several family disputes. Secondly, it also has an adverse impact on health of an individual too. Getting less leisure time adversely affects fitness level, and, resulting in many health problems at an early life stage, such as, high sugar level, low blood pressures, etc. Lastly, working extra time on regular basis also results in poor mental health. Because of which, some people find it difficult to concentrate on their normal day routine work, and observe a downfall in their performance.

In conclusion, it can be justified that work long hours results in early chances of promotion, as well as, a good mode to support the loved ones. But, I personally believe that it results in more drawbacks, which should not be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant, covering financial benefits and career progression on one side, and health and family issues on the other. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of 'high sugar level' and 'low blood pressures' as health consequences is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand your arguments with more detailed explanations or specific, illustrative examples rather than listing points. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, maintaining a consistent position throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use transition signals such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Firstly', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. For example, the phrase 'Because of which' is used twice to start sentences, which is grammatically awkward and affects the flow. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'these') is used more naturally would enhance the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'notion', 'inflation', 'adverse impact', and 'professional life'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'bright employee in eyes of the employer' is not a standard collocation, and 'at an early life stage' is slightly unnatural. You attempt to use less common vocabulary, but the precision is inconsistent. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and ensure that your vocabulary choices are appropriate for a formal academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' before 'health of an individual') and prepositions. Phrases like 'Due to which' and 'Because of which' are used as sentence starters, which is grammatically incorrect in formal writing; these should be integrated into the preceding clause. Additionally, there are minor errors in subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'work long hours results' instead of 'working long hours results'. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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