Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Leisure activities are essential to create a balance in life, however, numerous people ignore them to, instead work and earn extra money. Although their choice might indeed provide them with more pay and better opportunities for future careers, it does stress them and may even lead them to depressed. Hence, in my point of view, this situation might have greater demerits than merits as those times should not be avoided for any reason, because generally being a psychologically healthy person is the most important feature to proceed in life.

Deciding to leave aside leisure activities to accomplish more work may allow a person to reach their own dream jobs. In other words, those ambitious population may get their education in a shorter period than the normal one; along with several additional courses and volunteering hours. For example, a student might cancel her plans with her friends to stay at home to find a new volunteering opportunity to build her CV. Therefore, from their point of view, this sacrifice has one great value which is bringing them much more elegant jobs.

Despite the merits of working overtime, labouring more than eight hours a day can generate negative emotions which may eventually develop to become depression. To illustrate, those side effects might be generated because those extra hardworking populations lack happy emotions on a daily basis. For instance, a person who is sitting on a computer completing tasks without any break hours would get angrier for any slightest reason. As a result, its drawbacks are way farther than its cons.

To conclude, a large number of people tend to overwork rather than have some fun time. Even though they might achieve generally greater accomplishments, they still will experience stress and may even be depressed. Because of such reason, I believe fun activities have more negative sides than positive ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the disadvantages of overworking outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant, such as career advancement versus mental health decline. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph provides a clear example of career benefits, but the third paragraph, while discussing the negative impacts, relies on slightly repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'negative emotions', 'happy emotions'). The conclusion is consistent with the introduction, but the final sentence contains a logical error where you state 'fun activities have more negative sides', which contradicts your actual argument. Ensure your summary accurately reflects your main position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In other words', 'To illustrate', and 'As a result', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. For instance, the phrase 'its drawbacks are way farther than its cons' is a bit awkward and repetitive in its logic. Additionally, the referencing in the final paragraph is slightly confusing, as the conclusion misstates the core argument regarding the value of leisure activities. Improving the flow between sentences would elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'ambitious', 'sacrifice', and 'psychologically healthy'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations. For example, 'lead them to depressed' is grammatically incorrect (should be 'lead to depression'), and 'elegant jobs' is not the standard collocation for career success. Furthermore, 'hardworking populations' is an unnatural way to refer to individuals. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors that occasionally impede the flow. Notable errors include 'lead them to depressed' (adjective vs. noun usage), 'those ambitious population' (subject-verb agreement), and 'its drawbacks are way farther than its cons' (incorrect comparative usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some unnecessary commas, such as in the first paragraph: 'to, instead work'. Strengthening your control over basic grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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