Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no denying the fact that the phenomenon of leisure activities is ubiquitous across the globe, due to it's paramount importance. One school of thought opine that majority masses do long hours work and very little spend time in leisure activities. If you talk about my perception i strongly believe that it has more demerits then merits and reasons for my inclination are articulated in the trail paragraph.

Commencing with the first disadvantages is that health issue. In many country people are prefer to work long hours just because of money and do not spend time in activities that they like on the reason they have several health issues they hard to overcome. For instance, In India it is a rule that employees only allow to work 8 hours and then do activities that they like or going a gym just because it will help for their health and also for family. That stands as an epitome. Thus many individual prefer to spend time on activities like playing outdoor games with their friends and family due to it is improve their health.

Another reason is that feel low and not concentred on their work. Majority country offer over pay if they work longer hours that the reason people do not do their activities and face problem. To cite an example, USA many cities hired more people just because they can divided their work. Like if a person did 14 hours a working a day he or she not fell good but now they have extra person who cover that time and that person do their activities. That stands as a paragon. Therefore, if people do longer shift and do not do leisure activities they face problems.

On the close scrutiny, I conclude that in this topic has more advantage and i believe that due to health reason and feel low also lose concentred that happen due to working long hours and not spend time on leisure activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that working long hours has more disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding health and productivity are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the explanation of why people work long hours in the USA is unclear and does not effectively support the main argument. The conclusion is also confusing, as it states the topic has 'more advantage' while the rest of the essay argues the opposite. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed point with clear supporting evidence that directly relates to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'Commencing with' and 'To cite an example', they are often used incorrectly or in a mechanical way. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. For instance, the transition between the discussion of health and the conclusion is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which occasionally impedes communication. There is a reliance on basic or misused terms, such as 'majority masses', 'trail paragraph', and 'paragon'. Some words are used in contexts where they do not fit, such as 'on the reason' instead of 'because'. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, the lack of precision and frequent collocation errors suggest a limited range. To reach a higher band, focus on learning word families and common collocations, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical and semantic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('people are prefer', 'employees only allow'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'In many country people are prefer to work long hours just because of money and do not spend time in activities that they like on the reason they have several health issues they hard to overcome.' The range of structures is limited, with few complex sentences used correctly. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would be beneficial.

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