Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the last several decades, long hours work become everyone's part of life. This has both advantages and disadvantages. Over hours work can give more money but its come with physical illness and behavior changes that not good for once and also for their loved ones. In this essay i will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and give my opinion on following paragraphs.

First and foremost, Working overtime can give you financial stability that can help you in hard time as well as good time. To expand this, Money can is necessary in hard time if any of family member or them self having any serious issue related health you need to have plenty amount in your saving and not only for medical emergency if you are planning to go on vacation, buying car or home for your partner or kids you need to have money in your hands. For instance, I want to go abroad for study and and at that same moment my mother has serious illness but, my father has very good amount savings in their account both can done very well.

On the other hand, health is as important as money. If you have money in you account but what if you body is not good for using that what is meaning of that money. To elaborate, Money can not buy health you can get money buy good health, so this is teach us that better health is required for not only life it is more needed for professional and personal life. For example, Mr. Desai is very famous business man in India, he had mouth cancer he spent huge amount of money for treatment and he was good but he was not like same as before his body has lots weakness. doctors found that he was drinking while he was working late night so he drunk to stay awake.

To summarize, work long hours is good for wealth but health is also important. In my opinion people should manage both work and also they need to have time for leisure activities. This will give you both money and health. People should maintain their personal and professional life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, though the development is somewhat uneven. You clearly identify financial stability as an advantage and health risks as a disadvantage. However, the position is not consistently maintained throughout; while you mention your opinion in the introduction, the conclusion is a bit generic and could more strongly synthesize your stance. Some ideas, such as the example of the businessman, are slightly tangential and could be more tightly linked to the core argument regarding the necessity of long working hours versus work-life balance. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph directly supports your central thesis with more focused analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'On the other hand', and 'To summarize' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the second paragraph where the transition between financial needs and the personal example is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial stability', 'medical emergency', and 'professional life'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'long hours work become everyone's part of life' and 'you can get money buy good health'. These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and refining your use of verbs and prepositions to sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes affect readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'both can done very well'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'he drunk to stay awake'). While the meaning is usually clear, these persistent errors prevent the text from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence construction, to ensure that your complex sentences are error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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