Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that in today's era, people are working excessive to keep with inflation. Many people opine that people are not prioritizing leisure activities because of too much work. I believe that this situation have more drawbacks than its benefits and I will explain those disadvantages in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, working too much has a plethora of cons, commencing with health problems. In other words, most of jobs are desk jobs. Therefore, sitting for a long period can cause neck and back problems. Moreover, it also leads to diseases like obesity because people are not walking or running at all. Another disadvantage is less productivity. This is because long hours work can damage a person mentally as well which results into not working proficiently.

Another drawback is that people now facing a lot of mental stress because excessive work, which leads to tiredness and frustration. Apart from that people are spending much less time with their families. Due to that not only people are facing stress but also many divorce because of not able to give time their families. Thus, these are the possible drawbacks for working too much and not doing enough leisure activities.

To conclude, although people need to work to keep up with today's inflation, I still believe that disadvantages outweigh advantages because people can face both physical problems like back and neck damage and mental problems like stress and depression. Therefore, people also should do some leisure activities to stay away from these problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant, focusing on health, productivity, and family life. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For instance, the link between long hours and 'not working proficiently' is mentioned but not fully explored with a concrete example. The argument remains somewhat general throughout. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis for each point raised, ensuring that the connection between the cause (long hours) and the effect (the specific drawback) is more robustly explained.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Another drawback', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow. For example, the transition 'Due to that not only people are facing stress but also many divorce' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'inflation', 'productivity', and 'frustration'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of imprecise word choice or collocation errors, such as 'most of jobs are desk jobs' (should be 'most jobs') and 'many divorce' (should be 'many people get divorced'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and less common vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'people are working excessive' (should be 'excessively'), 'this situation have' (should be 'has'), and 'results into' (should be 'results in'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While you attempt complex structures, the accuracy is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining your use of prepositions will help you achieve a higher band score.

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