Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A good number of people work long hours with small time left for other activities in one’s free time. Meanwhile, there are many disadvantages that come with working extended hours with little or no time for other engagements during relaxation.

Firstly, the most prominent problem that arises from long periods of working without rest is health issues. People tend to develop both mental and physical sickness which can cost them fortune. Many people have spent their money in getting treatment as a result of the ailment that staying up all day and night working without getting rest brought about than they can save up for their enjoyment.

Furthermore, there is also a challenge of losing focus while at work when one does not get enough sleep or engage in other activities that can boost their mental health while not at work as a result of working long hours. There has been instances where employees record errors in their assigned tasks because they are given more tasks to do than they can actually execute, and still get time to relax.

Additionally, another disadvantage that can result from working long period is the distance that is always created between people, and their family, friends or relatives. They barely have the time to spend with their loved ones, and it always leads to them knowing little or nothing about their lives. It has also created emptiness in the lives of affected people that they can no longer feel loved due to their withdrawal from participating in social activities.

In conclusion, there have been so many disadvantages that result from working long hours without engaging in social activities than the advantages that come with it which can be easily swayed away by the challenges that are witnessed from not participating in leisure activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the disadvantages of working long hours. You clearly state your position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health, focus, and social isolation, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with specific examples or deeper analysis. For instance, the point about 'health issues' is a good start, but it remains quite general. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation or a concrete real-world example to support your claims, rather than just stating the problems.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'Additionally' to signal the progression of your arguments. However, some of the transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence of the conclusion where the phrasing 'swayed away by the challenges' is awkward and impacts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by varying the linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows more naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extended hours', 'engagements', and 'social isolation'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that prevent a higher score. For example, 'cost them fortune' should be 'cost them a fortune', and 'swayed away' is not the correct idiomatic usage in this context. There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word choices are consistently accurate to convey your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'There has been instances' should be 'There have been instances', and 'than they can save up' is grammatically awkward. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. To achieve a higher band, focus on proofreading for these recurring small errors and aim to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences.

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