Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Spending the majority of time for work has become increasingly common. As a result, people are left with very limited time for other activities. The main advantage is that they can earn more money by working long hours. However, it could make them physically and mentally ill.

some people prefer to work for longer period of time everyday to earn more money. This allows them to accumulate wealth in a short period of time which makes them financially independent. For example, many people move abroad on temporary work permits. They work hard and accumulate money in aboard. Once their work permits expired, they move back their home counties with all their savings. This few years of hard work in aboard can make their lives relaxed in their home countries. Therefore, working long hours is beneficial to achieve financially independent in the future.

On the other hand, devoting majority time only for work can make people mentally ill and physically tired. Sometimes people do not get a time to relax their body and mind. This causes many mental issues such as depression. If jobs require physical efforts, people often feel tired. For example, when workers work for longer shifts, their muscles require recover. If workers do not get a time to relax their muscles, they can get injuries. Hence, working long hours could lead many mental and physical health issues.

To conclude, although people can accumulate more money in short period of time if they work for longer hours, they get mental and physical health issues. Therefore, I believe this practices has more disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, ultimately concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of migrant workers and the physical risks of long shifts. However, the development of these points is somewhat basic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your arguments with more depth or nuance, perhaps by discussing the societal impact or the long-term economic consequences of such work patterns, rather than just focusing on individual health and immediate financial gain.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'To conclude' effectively. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and there is a lack of more sophisticated linking words or referencing. For instance, the transition between the first and second paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this practice') is always precise will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financially independent', 'temporary work permits', and 'accumulate wealth'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'accumulate money in aboard' (should be 'abroad') and 'get a time to relax' (should be 'find time to relax'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To improve, focus on learning more precise collocations and avoiding basic errors in word form and preposition usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that slightly impede the flow. Examples include 'Once their work permits expired' (should be 'expire' or 'have expired'), 'move back their home counties' (missing preposition 'to'), and 'this practices has' (subject-verb agreement error). While these errors do not prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and prepositional accuracy will significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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