Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.
Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this contemporary era not much time is given for free-time tasks as they prefer to work for long time. From my notion there are plethora of cons however benefits are so less. This essay will articulate drawbacks of this thinking in forthcoming paragraphs.
To commence with their are numerous of disadvantages of spending more time on work. First and foremost demerit is it will impact on your eyesight. To be more precise, in this modern world 80% of work activities are performed on computer as compare to another tasks. Consequently, it can provide harm to eyes with can lead to number of your eyesight. For instance, news was printed on the first page of newspaper in the world that in one city 760 people just lost their eyesight as their screentime on their work was 9-10 in the day so they not get time to spend on another daily tasks. Secondly, spending time on another activities like physical exercise which include walking and many more games. This is to say, leisure activities are as crucial as our work. To recapitulate, staying fit in this day and age is vital to live long.
Despite the drawbacks their is one advantage of doing much in their work. One major pro is that they can achieve much more in their live. To explain it more. living beings who are much more focused on their jobs rather than free activities they attain their goals in life. For example, survey showed that people who are succeed in their life they worked day and night continuously.
To sum up, there are several of cons of not spending time on leisure activities as compare to drawbacks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the disadvantages and advantages of working long hours. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The argument regarding eyesight is supported by a specific, albeit likely fabricated, example, but the logic is somewhat unclear. The second paragraph regarding leisure activities is underdeveloped and lacks a clear connection to the prompt's core question. The position is stated in the introduction, but the conclusion is confusing, as it states there are 'several of cons' compared to 'drawbacks,' failing to clearly summarize the final stance. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that examples directly support the main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with' and 'Secondly,' they are sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Consequently, it can provide harm to eyes with can lead to number of your eyesight.' The transition between the disadvantages and the single advantage is abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the logical flow required for a higher band. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring clear transitions between sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'free-time tasks,' 'provide harm to eyes,' and 'achieve much more in their live.' The phrase 'living beings' is inappropriate in this context, as it refers to biological organisms rather than humans or employees. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to work-life balance and avoid using overly simplistic or incorrect phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and precise terms will help you convey your arguments more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'there are plethora of cons' should be 'there is a plethora of cons,' and 'as compare to another tasks' should be 'compared to other tasks.' The use of complex sentences is attempted, but they are often faulty, such as 'For instance, news was printed... that in one city 760 people just lost their eyesight as their screentime on their work was 9-10 in the day.' These errors are frequent and distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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