Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think that work is a worship for them. Hence, these individuals spent their more than half of time in doing work only, neglecting their other activities. In my perception, this situation has more demerits than merits which I will explain in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly, this paragraph will highlight major disadvantages of working for a long time. Working for long hours can cause many health issues. It also can affect the mental health of a person due to which one can go into the depression. Moreover, if a person is not getting proper output of his/her efforts, then it can lead to a situation of burnout. For example, if a Software Professional is working for 10 to 12 hours then it can impact his/her vision and lead to many other health issues such as slip disk. Although, in some cases people gets overtime pay which may be helpful for them in many ways. But, for getting extra pay, ignoring health can never be a good choice. Collectively, longer working hours can never be a suitable option.

Moreover, if a person works for a longer period, then he/she cannot give enough time to family members. Hence, it can result in weaker family bonds. In addition, people can never give time to their hobbies, which is an important part of life to keep a person healthy and happy. However, by working for longer hours a person may create his/her goodwill in a company or business which can give many benefits. But, doing this on the cost of ignoring family members or self can never be justifiable. Hence, all these reasons prove that working for longer hours and keeping very less free time is not a good choice.

To pen down, by working for long hours daily, a person can miss many important aspects of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have clearly addressed the prompt by taking a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. You have provided relevant reasons, such as health issues and family neglect, and supported them with examples like the software professional. To reach a higher band, ensure your ideas are more fully developed. For instance, while you mention 'burnout' and 'weaker family bonds', you could expand on the long-term societal or personal consequences of these issues to provide a more comprehensive argument. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a strength.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In addition' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, the conclusion is quite brief and does not fully summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that the conclusion provides a more robust synthesis of your arguments would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demerits', 'justifiable', and 'burnout' appropriately. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'work is a worship' and 'spent their more than half of time'. These indicate a need for more natural collocations. To improve, focus on learning how words are typically grouped together in English. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, incorporating more precise or sophisticated academic vocabulary would help you move into a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'people gets' (should be 'people get'), 'slip disk' (should be 'slipped disc'), and 'at the cost of' (you wrote 'on the cost of'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Increasing your control over complex sentence structures while reducing these minor errors will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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