Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.
Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is the topic of debate that, a number of individuals work long hours, leaving a shirt time for free activities. The long working hours, create adverse effects, healthy issues and home sickness. This essay will provide the demerits with examples.
To begin with, In this modren world, everything is expensive. Every individuals work hard for earn bread and butter. Especially, for overseas jobs, ample of individuals move abroad For example, a country like "India" every year 5% people migrate to "Europe" due to strong economy and getting large amount of money not only they have to live alone but also no one to share happiness and taking care. Thus, no get to together and have to stay alone. In addition, Long working hours create more health issue. Likewise, without breaks give a birth to stress, anxiety. If a person working in a office working as a sales person, long hours sitting on a chair, without any physical moment, and feel sad, therefore, people try attempt to suicide because of mental health problems.
Furthermore, there is no doubt that, leisure activities paramount of healthy body. it give a chance a make a space in society. People know what happened around the world, while, working long hours people, come back to home, going to sleep. The same continue routine provide lack of socialization. If there is nothing new, the world will be boaring.
After pondering over the proceding that information, i conclude that, although, jobs offers provides money and fullfill the all wishes such as buying clothes, cars, however, consequences cannot be neglected.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of long working hours, but it fails to provide a balanced view or a clear argument regarding whether there are more advantages or disadvantages. The position is somewhat clear, but the development of ideas is limited. For instance, the mention of '5% of people migrating' lacks context and does not directly support the argument about leisure time. The essay focuses almost exclusively on the negative aspects, neglecting the 'advantages' side of the prompt, which limits the depth of the discussion. To improve, ensure you address both sides of the argument before concluding which one is more significant.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow between and within them is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'In addition'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically. The progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the transition between the discussion of migration and the impact on health is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'shirt time' (likely meaning 'short time'), 'healthy issues', and 'physical moment' (likely meaning 'movement'). The phrasing 'earn bread and butter' is a cliché that is not used naturally in this context. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the frequent errors in word formation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and checking for correct word forms will help.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Every individuals work'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'without breaks give a birth to stress'). The use of complex sentences is attempted, but they are often faulty, leading to run-on sentences or fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb tenses is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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