Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Leisure activities is play very important role in our life .Those activites make our day happy and also good for mental and physical health.Liesure activities can make a reason for find new peoples and make new friends.In those activities we can find new ideas form different peoples.If we can not doing such leisure activities our mental and physical help should be effected.We do work long hours u our mind need some rest and some adventures with our friends like hang out or playing some games like cricket tenis ball and golf. Those activities should make us relief the stress of work.Now i tell my own experiences on this leisure activities.First i dont do any activities. I can foucs on work all time by this stress of work can effect my health i can go through a very big disease . So, my docter advise me to do some leisure activities .Then, from and now i can do some activities.My favourite activity is playing basketball. In school time i am a good player of basket ball. So,Know i have interest in this wo i joind a group of basket ball team we can daily playing in the evening.I can spend much more time on it . So, know i feel fresh and strong then before . My mind health know is also good .I can do more work then before and feel easy to work with no stress.This is my realtime story and experience these difficulties is come when we can not do liesure activities. I can suggest all of you ,Please do some liesure activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of leisure activities and exploring the disadvantages of working long hours without free time. The writer takes a clear, personal stance, noting that working continuously leads to negative health impacts and that leisure activities provide essential stress relief. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While the prompt asks whether the situation has more advantages or more disadvantages, the student focuses almost exclusively on the disadvantages of overwork and the benefits of leisure, rather than directly comparing advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner. Furthermore, the personal anecdote takes up a large portion of the text and lacks broader societal generalisation, which places this response at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The text lacks proper paragraphing, as it is presented as a single, uninterrupted block of text. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas from general statements to personal experiences and conclusions. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically, such as 'Now i tell my own experiences' and 'Then, from and now'. Reference pronouns are occasionally unclear, and transitional phrases are missing between sentences. While there is a discernible overarching message moving from the general importance of leisure to a personal story and a final recommendation, the absence of clear paragraph structure and inadequate cohesive management prevent the writing from achieving a higher band, resulting in a score of 4.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'work', 'activities', 'good', and 'time'. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'mental and physical help should be effected' (instead of affected/impaired), 'make a reason for find new peoples' (to find new people), and 'big disease'. Spelling mistakes are common throughout the response, including 'activites', 'Liesure', 'form', 'tenis', 'docter', 'joind', and 'realtime'. These errors and the limited vocabulary range restrict the lexical score to a Band 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences linked with coordinating conjunctions or run-on clauses (e.g., 'First i dont do any activities. I can foucs on work all time by this stress of work can effect my health i can go through a very big disease'). Attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty and cause punctuation errors, missing articles, and tense inconsistencies ('In school time i am a good player', 'Know i have interest'). Errors are frequent and often impede the flow of reading, though the general meaning remains retrievable, warranting a Band 4.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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