Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Majority of the individuals around the globe are involved in busy life style working in excess and giving themselves not enough time for extra activities, such as outdoor sports, workout, and developing new skills. As we all know that everything comes with pros and cons and in this essay we are going to discuss these in our paragraph.

Almost every workplace has very strick work policies as well as too much workload for employees. Additionally, worker has always a constant pressure from their manager or supervisor's on them to achieve the results that are desired from the management on a regular basis. With such a busy lifestyle people often tend to forget about their health, proper nutrition enrich diet, and welcoming unwanted health related problems. For example; a friend of mine recently got diagnosed with diabites type 2 because he was consuming junk food with carbonated drinks twice a day in order to spend more time at work instead of preparing his own meal at home.

Most of the jobs that are performed in corporate world are sitting jobs with very less or no physical movement. Furthermore, working at a desk on computer for 10-12 hours a day with 6 hours of sleep is dangerous for your health. After signing off from work everyday each individual is required to do some kind of exercise or spend some quality time with their family. Lastly, being a workholic will also leads to bad parenting and not good relation with their spouse. In some cases, it has shown 90 percent chances of being divorced as well as depressed.

To put it in a nutshell, each individual needs to spare some extra time for themselves daily for activities, such as jogging, watching TV, and cooking meals. I believe that working long hours have more disavantages and have shown misreable results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the disadvantages of working long hours, which implicitly answers the question about whether there are more advantages or disadvantages. However, the position is not stated clearly in the introduction, and the essay focuses almost exclusively on the negative health, social, and psychological impacts without explicitly balancing or weighing them against potential advantages such as career progression or financial gain. Ideas are generally relevant, citing health issues and poor parenting, but some points like '90 percent chances of being divorced' lack logical foundation and read as over-generalised claims. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to present a clearer stance in the introduction and ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with balanced development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, following a logical introduction, body, and conclusion structure. However, the introduction contains a meta-commentary flaw ('in this essay we are going to discuss these in our paragraph') that disrupts the professional tone. Progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions and mechanical cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' and 'Lastly'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the second paragraph where pronouns and examples shift focus abruptly without smooth bridging. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas could be improved; for instance, the discussion on physical health spills over between the second and third paragraphs rather than forming a cohesive, single thematic unit. Overall organization is present, but progression lacks a seamless flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate basic ideas, featuring terms like 'corporate world', 'physical movement', and 'workaholic'. However, there are numerous lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'strick' instead of strict, 'diabites' instead of diabetes, and 'misreable' instead of miserable. The writer attempts less common vocabulary, but word choices and collocations are often awkward, such as 'nutrition enrich diet' instead of nutrient-rich diet or balanced diet, and 'sitting jobs' instead of sedentary jobs. These frequent errors in spelling and word choice occasionally create friction for the reader, placing the response firmly in the band 5.5 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting complex clauses with varying degrees of success. There are numerous grammatical errors that affect readability, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'worker has always a constant pressure', missing articles ('on computer', 'at work'), and awkward prepositions ('supervisor's on them'). Punctuation errors also occur, such as unnecessary semicolons used incorrectly ('For example; a friend of mine'). While the meaning can generally be deciphered, the high frequency of errors across basic and complex sentences means that error-free structures are not in the majority, preventing the essay from achieving a band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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