Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are doing a lot of work to earn money. A number of people are working longer period, therefore they able to save very less time for doing free activities. In my opinion negatives outweigh positives in this situation. In this essay I will discuss few reasons with example to clarify my statement.

On the one hand, working long hours present good impression at working place as manager think a person is very dedicated towards his work. In simple words, people start noticing your hard-work if you give more efforts to full-fill your task. To illustrate, many offices give promotion to their employees when they work long hours.

On the other side, firstly it affects people mental health. In other words, by working extra hours people only focus on work and forget to enjoy life. After few years there may chances to develop some cognitive disease. For example, the number of cases of depression are increasing widely in the world. Secondly, people might loss their connection with family. To simplify, It is main priority for a person to spend quality time with their family members to make the strong bond. Although, having less time makes it difficult to engage with them which causes breakdown of family. For instance, there are a lot number of people getting divorced because of less communication.

In conclusion, providing good impression at office is the only advantage. However, high chances to develop mental health disorder and loss of family bonds are the main two disadvantages for this development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“negatives outweigh positives”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both sides of the question, giving promotion and a positive workplace impression as benefits, then discussing mental health and family relationships as disadvantages. These are relevant reasons, and examples such as depression and divorce help illustrate them. The response also shows some development beyond simply listing points. However, the advantage is supported mainly by a general claim about promotion, while the disadvantages would benefit from clearer explanation of how long hours lead to the stated outcomes. Some claims, such as the rise in depression cases, are broad and not closely linked to the argument. More specific explanation and examples would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from workplace benefits to personal costs is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other side,” and “In conclusion” help orient the reader. You also use sequencing words to distinguish the two disadvantages. At times, however, these devices feel mechanical, and some links between ideas are not fully clear. For example, the move from working extra hours to developing a cognitive disease needs a more explicit explanation. The phrase “Although, having less time…” also creates an awkward connection. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the cause-and-effect links between claims more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “dedicated,” “promotion,” “mental health,” “quality time,” and “family bonds.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “cognitive disease” and “breakdown of family.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “save very less time,” “give more efforts,” “loss their connection,” and “a lot number of people” are examples. Spelling and word-form issues such as “full-fill” and “hard-work” also affect the naturalness of the writing. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check whether a phrase sounds idiomatic; this will help you express your ideas more clearly and flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style explanation with “Although, having less time makes it difficult…” and a relative clause in “employees when they work long hours.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “therefore they able” is missing a verb, “working long hours present” has subject–verb disagreement, and “the number of cases … are” uses the wrong agreement pattern. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “It is main priority” and the comma after “Although.” These errors do not usually prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy. Practise checking each sentence for a complete verb, agreement, and correct article use, while continuing to vary sentence structures.

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