Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

With the growing competition among colleagues and tight deadlines imposed by employers, a long hours working style has been observed recently. Many people argue that this phenomenon stems from the employees motivation and sinceretly towards their job, whereas others consider that this trend deprive employees of a balanced life. Many experts now acknowledge the determental impacts of this working stype outweight its positive outcomes. This essay will examine how this apporach is having negative impacts on workforce.

In the bygones era, percentage of workers on physical labour used to be higher than office staff, but this trend has changed with contemporary innovations whereby the modern machines have taken over the jobs of humen, and eventually employees are hired now to program those machines or for the aministrative and office bounded tasks. This has created a sendentary lifestyle in the society. Resultantly, people working long hours gets their health impacted by not getting proper time for their leisure and sports activities. Recently, a medical study of type 2 diabetes patients reveals the obesity and sedantary lifestyle among the crucial reasons for developing insulin resistance. Furthermore, although the ratio of workers on physical labour has reduced, it still requires a leisure time for them to stay with families, and enjoy their hobbies for the overall physical and mental well-being.

Additionally, this practice is impacting social life, overall career growth and general health of the employees. A career path encompassing a steady growth requires a consistent credentials update along with broader social and professional networks. Employees who spend long hours at work usually don't find time for themselves to upgrade their expertise with innovations, which eventually impact their performance at work. It has also been observed that profound long social connections are made out of office in informal meetings. If employees do not find time for their leisure activities, for example, they do not get time for their club or sports activites, they would not be able to make good connections.

In conclusion, although working long hours can earn a short term appreciation from the boss, its long impacts on social, mental and physical areas of the employees are very deterimental.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages of long working hours outweigh the benefits, and you maintain this view in the conclusion. The discussion of health and social life is relevant, with the example of sedentary work and type 2 diabetes helping to support your first point. You also explain how limited leisure time may restrict professional development and networking. These points address the task, but some are less fully developed: the career-growth argument is asserted more than explained, and the brief benefit of earning a boss’s appreciation appears only in the conclusion. To strengthen the response, develop the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicitly and give a clearer example showing how long hours affect an individual’s life or work outcomes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs present related disadvantages, and a conclusion restates the judgement. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Additionally,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the first paragraph introduces opposing views before the essay’s position is fully clear. Within the second body paragraph, career growth, social connections, and health are grouped together, although the health point is mainly developed earlier; this makes the paragraph’s focus less precise. Some references, such as “this practice,” could also be made more specific. Use topic sentences that identify one main idea per paragraph and connect each example directly to that idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sedentary lifestyle,” “insulin resistance,” “professional networks,” and “physical and mental well-being.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and employment precisely. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the reader pause, as in “sinceretly,” “determental,” “sendentary,” and “aministrative.” There are also awkward combinations such as “long hours working style,” “office bounded tasks,” and “profound long social connections.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than adding complex wording where a simpler phrase is clearer. Proofreading spelling and checking how words commonly combine would make your vocabulary more effective and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whereby,” “although,” and “if,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some sentence structures are ambitious, but errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms reduce accuracy. For example, “people working long hours gets their health impacted” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “percentage of workers” needs an article and “employees motivation” needs a possessive form. In “this trend deprive employees,” the verb form also does not agree with its subject. Review agreement in long sentences and check articles and possessives during editing. Breaking a few heavily loaded sentences into clearer units would help you retain complexity while improving control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.