Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is irrefutable that a considerable number of individuals work an excessive number of hours to fulfill their desired ambitions, which left a tiny time period for their personal fulfillment. Although this viewpoint has a few potential benefits, I strongly assert that the significant drawbacks of this trend predominantly outweigh any associated postives beacause it not only deters individual self-satisfaction but also effects work-life balance.

There are several compelling arguments in favour of working longer hours at workplace, chief among which is it enhances a chance of enjoying luxurious lifestyle by acquiring a substaintial amount of remuneration, which ultimately leads to benefical for their top-notch individual lifestyle. For instance, Employees who works extra hours at their workplace have a better opportunity to explore a different parts of world because of their extra wealth. Over and above this social impact, working more hours promotes a chance of wage-earners career promotion ,and in some cases, they have even obtain a high-rise salary packages.

Despite these evident advantages, the potential disadvantages of this notion should not be overlooked, particularly regarding working excessive hours deterrent to enjoy members of the workplace from extra fulfillment activities — such as swimming, extra vocation training and playing sports — which is essential to culminates their overall well-being. This is because it is incredibly necessary for their physical and mental strength. A secondary, yet equally vital, consideration for my concern is that it hindrances work-life equilibrium, creating a circumstance where job-holder has absolutely scant time left for their family because of working much more hours. As a consequence, it occationally has become reason for seperation. To cite an example, the employees who work longer hours to impress their emplyer and personl career growth have end-up with less bonding with their households. Hence, I deem that preserving time for family is far indispensable then obtaining more money.

In concusion, while this perspective has certain merits, such as tremendous lifestyle and career-growth opportunities, I firmly believe that a significant drawbacks ( including work-life balace and personal fulfillment ) of working extra hours ultimately overshadow the benefits. Therefore, I reckon that this notion has eventually a detrimental trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: although longer hours can bring benefits, you believe the disadvantages outweigh them. You address both sides and support your view with relevant points about higher earnings, career progression, reduced leisure, health and family relationships. The examples, such as employees having less time to bond with their households, help connect the argument to real consequences. This meets the task well, with ideas generally extended and supported. To strengthen the response further, develop the benefits and consequences with more precise explanation rather than broad claims—for example, clarify how extra income improves quality of life and how limited family time can lead to separation. The conclusion restates your judgement clearly, though it could synthesise the main reasons more naturally.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs consider advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion confirms your view. Ideas progress logically, and signposting such as “Despite these evident advantages” and “As a consequence” helps readers follow the argument. Paragraphs also have identifiable central purposes. At times, however, the linking language feels formulaic or is used where the relationship between ideas is not fully clear; “Over and above this social impact” does not accurately introduce career promotion. Some sentences also pack several points together, making the progression less smooth. To improve, use simpler, more precise transitions and make each sentence develop one clear step in the argument, with references such as “this trend” clearly tied to the point being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a broad range of vocabulary, including “remuneration,” “work-life balance,” “overall well-being” and “career promotion,” and the topic is generally understandable. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are frequent enough to make some phrases awkward or unclear. Examples include “benefical for their top-notch individual lifestyle,” “extra fulfillment activities,” and “a significant drawbacks.” Several ambitious expressions do not fit their context, such as “high-rise salary packages” and “tremendous lifestyle.” Spelling errors such as “postives,” “occationally” and “seperation” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise combinations rather than adding formal-sounding words: for instance, use “higher earnings,” “leisure activities” and “career advancement.” Proofreading for spelling and word forms would make your meaning more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of sentence types and attempt complex structures, including “Although this viewpoint has a few potential benefits…” and the explanation beginning “This is because…”. These attempts allow you to express contrast and cause, and your main argument remains understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur often, and some complex sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “which left a tiny time period” does not maintain the correct verb form, “Employees who works” has subject–verb disagreement, and “they have even obtain” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “particularly regarding working excessive hours deterrent…” is also structurally incomplete. Practise checking each clause for a clear subject and verb, and review agreement and verb forms before adding further clauses.

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