Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people have busy schedules and most of the time they like to spend at the work. As a result, it leads to little time for their habits. I believe this statements contains more disdavantages as it impacts on individuals well-being and own personal interests.

On the one hand, it results in negative impression on physical health and mental health also. As many youngsters are moving to countries like Canada, America or any other nations. They work long hours, it helps them to earn a lot of money. But as they immerse themselves into long hour shifts at day or night, but did not have a time for sleeping. Therefore, they get fatigue and tiredness. As a result, it leads to many postural changes such as Low back pain, scoliosis as well as mentally they suffer from depression and stress.

On the other hand, it result in personal desires decline day by day. Many young youth have an interest in many activities including gym, swimming, wrestling, trekking and so on. As they have busy schedules, they do not have time for their own preferences. Besides that, many people do not have enough time for their family and children. Many people loves to do gardening but they do not have plenty of time.

In conclusion, money is important but health should be crucial part of our lives. With physical and mental problems, a person can suffer ffrom many diseases. If someone has busy schedules, but should have free time for fun activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that long working hours have more disadvantages, and the conclusion reinforces the importance of health and leisure. You address both the effects on well-being and the loss of time for personal interests and family, with relevant examples such as exercise, gardening, and working abroad. However, the two main points are not developed equally: the health paragraph gives several consequences, while the personal-interests paragraph mostly lists activities without explaining their wider impact. The opening also refers to people spending time “at the work,” which does not clearly establish that they work long hours. To strengthen the response, explain each main reason more fully and connect examples directly to why the disadvantages outweigh any financial benefit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from health effects to reduced personal and family time, so the overall arrangement is coherent. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For example, “As many youngsters are moving to countries like Canada…” is a sentence fragment, and the following ideas about earning money, shift work, and health are not smoothly linked. The repeated “As a result” also makes the progression feel formulaic. Use clearer links to show cause and effect, and make sure each paragraph develops one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “physical health,” “mental health,” “depression,” “stress,” and “personal preferences.” These choices make your main concerns understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “spend at the work,” “negative impression on physical health,” and “personal desires decline.” There is also repetition of general terms such as “many people,” “time,” and “busy schedules,” while “youngsters” and “young youth” are imprecise or redundant. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrasing and vary repeated words. Check spelling carefully as well: “disdavantages” and “ffrom” distract from otherwise relevant ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using clauses introduced by “as,” “but,” and “therefore,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. However, some sentence structures and grammatical forms are inaccurate. “As many youngsters are moving to countries…” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, while “As they immerse themselves … but did not have a time” combines incompatible clause patterns and shifts tense. There are also agreement and article errors, for example “this statements contains,” “it result,” and “a person can suffer ffrom many diseases.” The final sentence, “If someone has busy schedules, but should have free time,” is incomplete. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and consistent tense.

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