Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's rapidly evolving world, working extended hours on multiple jobs consecutively has become an increasingly noticeable trend. Although this situation presents certain drawbacks, it also offers several potential benefits for individuals and families. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

One major advantage of working long hours is that people want to be financially independent these days. This is mainly because they have to fulfill their family's needs and desires in this time of inflation. As a result, they not only dream big and work on it but also they achieve their goals. Therefore, working extended hours can make a significant contribution to achieve financial independence. Another benefit is that they can be physically strong, which can further help maintain the overall well being. For example, recent studies shows that individuals who work long hours achieve their dreams way before than who work less.

However, working long hours also has certain drawbacks, particularly having almost no or less time for leisure activities. This is primarily becuase they are too busy working on their jobs for extended hours which are either physically or mentally tiring. Consequently, they do not spend quality times with their families or friends. For example, some people work multiple jobs at the same time leaving no time behind for themselves.

In conclusion, having no quality time with either closed ones or themselves should not be overlooked. I believe that the advantages of working long shifts and doing multiple jobs outweigh its drawbacks because there will be no peer pressure if they earn well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you believe the benefits of long working hours outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides, giving financial independence and reduced leisure time as relevant points. However, the advantages are not fully explained: the claim that long hours make people “physically strong” is unclear, and the example about achieving dreams sooner does not show how this follows from working longer. The conclusion’s point about avoiding “peer pressure” is also introduced without support and does not clearly connect to the main argument. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points with specific explanations or examples, and make sure each one directly supports your comparison of advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “As a result,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, though, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Therefore” introduces a claim about financial independence without showing the steps in the reasoning, while the shift from financial independence to being “physically strong” feels abrupt. The conclusion also brings in peer pressure without preparing the reader for this idea. Improve progression by organising each body paragraph around one main point and linking each example directly to that point; use referencing and transitions to clarify relationships rather than simply mark them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financially independent,” “inflation,” “leisure activities,” and “quality time.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a significant contribution.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, which makes parts of the argument less natural: “work on it” has an unclear reference, “achieve their goals way before than” is awkward, and “no time behind for themselves” does not express the intended meaning idiomatically. “Physically strong” is also an unclear description of a benefit. Aim for precise, natural combinations of words and check spelling, including “because” and “studies.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although this situation presents certain drawbacks” and a relative clause in “jobs … which are either physically or mentally tiring.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and punctuation generally supports the paragraph structure. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “recent studies shows,” the plural subject requires “show”; “before than” has an incorrect comparative construction; and “quality times” uses an unnecessary plural. The final sentence also shifts awkwardly from “advantages” to “its drawbacks,” making the reference less clear. Continue practising agreement, comparative forms, and consistent pronoun reference, while keeping the varied sentence structures you already attempt.

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