Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is widely held belif that, some individual working in long time. This is a particularly significant impact on yhe world affeting both individual and community. I will discuss advantages and disadvantages in upcoming paragraph with light of principal factors before any conclusion with can be drwan.

One of the main reason is that, is some people are working in late night and long time because there are achieve in many goals in present life. This is evident from the fact that, is that the people are not enjoying the life because there are always busy to work and responsibilities. For instance, some people are busy to work because there are working in the difference types working because there are achieved the success in the early.

One the other hand, there are several disadvantages, some people are busy in the working there are not enjoy the life. Secondly, In the continuous working people are always under in the pressure and stressed. To illustrate, in the present day's there not time for the daily activity and people are always busy to the works and there are not participating in the activities and there are not time to prepare the proper meals.

In conclusion, although i am writing to the differant types for advantages and disadvantages in the paragraph. i am agree with both views in the present days people are busy to the secure future there are not play the activities and there are not spend ghe time to family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You recognise the topic and mention both sides: working long hours may help people achieve goals or secure their future, while reducing leisure, family time, and opportunities to prepare meals. However, the task asks you to decide whether the advantages or disadvantages are greater, and your conclusion says you “agree with both views” rather than giving a clear comparative judgement. The advantages are especially unclear: the first body paragraph mainly describes people being too busy to enjoy life, which supports the disadvantages instead. Examples are general and do not explain how long hours produce success or what consequences follow. The response is also one word below the required minimum. State your position directly and develop each main reason with a relevant, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal a shift, and the final paragraph attempts to summarise the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph begins with a possible advantage but then moves to people not enjoying life, without explaining the connection. Repeated phrases such as “there are” and “people are busy” make the links mechanical, while the introduction promises a discussion of both sides without establishing a clear direction. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one clear central point, then linking its explanation and example explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “responsibilities,” “success,” “pressure,” “stressed,” and “proper meals,” so the reader can identify the general subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “It is widely held” and “To illustrate.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive and imprecise: “busy to work” and “working in the difference types working” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling and word-form errors, including “belif,” “yhe,” and “differant,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range of collocations for work and leisure, and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make your ideas clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both longer sentences and shorter statements, and the response uses basic linking structures such as “because,” “although,” and “for instance.” However, sentence construction is frequently inaccurate, which makes several ideas hard to interpret. For example, “some individual working in long time” lacks a complete, correctly formed clause, while “there are achieve in many goals” has an incorrect verb form. Agreement and sentence patterns are also problematic in “people are not enjoying the life because there are always busy.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the capitalised “In” after a comma and lowercase “i” in the conclusion. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then combine them with accurate subordinate clauses.

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