Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the era of modernization, It has been observed that people are becoming more workoholics. They are tend to work long shifts for extra money. In the daily hustle and bustle of the life, person really forget to live fully and enjoying their life fullest. In my perception this is outrightly detrimental to a large extent. My preference will be explained in the upcoming paragraphs with a valid reasons and appropriate examples.

The fundamental reason for my inclination is that working for long hours than usual can cause physical and mental fatigue. Long constant work increases stress level in human being, It will resulted in less productivity and less concentration. For instance, those who work everyday without any break, their nature turn out very irritative and it can leads to some behavioural changes too. Leisure activities like a sports can help to raise oxytocin hormone level into your body. Moreover, the hormone will act like a happy hormone to your body, It will give you relaxation and a peace of mind.

On top of that, little activity time can be really helpful to break your everyday routine and feel free and relaxed at same time. An extracurricular activities like sports, reading, traveling, cooking,dancing, singing, knitting can be helpful to reduce mental burden and it will help you to concentrate more to the next day.

However, the downside should not be disregarded, because lot of people can earn more money by doing over time. They are stricktly serious about their goal in a life, that will give them financial stability and bright future too.

Based on the aforementioned reasoning, I still stand my stance. According to me leisure activities plays essential role in human well-being. Working long hours without involving in any activity can be extremely disadvantegeous and it will leads to take you toward isolation from social life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider long working hours more disadvantageous, and you address both sides by acknowledging the financial benefits of overtime. The discussion of fatigue, stress, leisure, and social isolation is relevant, with examples such as sports and other hobbies. This meets the task well, and the clear stance and relevant support show some qualities of a more fully developed response. However, the advantages are treated briefly, and several claims—such as the effect of leisure on oxytocin—are asserted rather than explained or supported. Develop the comparison more explicitly: explain why the benefits of extra income do not outweigh the costs, and extend one or two examples to show their effects on people’s lives. This would make the argument more consistently convincing and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining disadvantages, a paragraph acknowledging an advantage, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “The fundamental reason,” “On top of that,” and “However” help signal the direction of the argument. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but progression is sometimes mechanical, and connections between points could be clearer. For example, the paragraph about leisure activities repeats the previous paragraph’s point about relaxation without showing how it adds a distinct reason. The conclusion also introduces social isolation rather abruptly. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the paragraph’s main claim; vary transitions and use pronouns or references carefully so the reader can follow how each point develops.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “physical and mental fatigue,” “financial stability,” “concentration,” and “social life.” There are also attempts at less common or emphatic expressions, such as “daily hustle and bustle” and “detrimental,” which show ambition. However, some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “workoholics,” “outrightly detrimental,” “raise oxytocin hormone level,” and “take you toward isolation.” Spelling errors such as “stricktly” and “disadvantegeous” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main ideas, but they limit precision and naturalness. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations, and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “those who work everyday without any break” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “They are tend to work,” “It will resulted,” “their nature turn out,” and “it will leads”; these should be revised to forms such as “They tend to work,” “It will result,” and “it leads.” Some sentences also join independent clauses with commas, as in “Long constant work increases stress level in human being, It will resulted…”. Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and use full stops or conjunctions to separate complete clauses. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts easier to follow.

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