Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modren era, people try to earn more money to meet their living standards as a result they spare a little amount of time to spend with friends and family members . This argument has both pros and cons.

To start with, employees who work for more hours are financially independent. They can repay their loan on time and collect extra money to retire early. Moreover , professionls can work long hour which can enhance their working skills and they can expertise in their field. For example, a young doctor can work for long hours to do gain more knowledge in their profession. So, working long shifts can give people financial freedom and allow then to grow more.

On the other hand, people who works for long hours do not find time for themselfs or their loved ones. People are becoming obese because they are working continously and do not go to gym or take part in any game. In addition to they choose money over going to family parties or christmas dinners . As a result more people are depressed, lonley and unhealthy now a days .

In summary, work and personal life should be equally managed by employees. There should be maximum working hours rule at work with break time so that employee can refrehen themselfs. With changing timie, some workplace arrange weekend outdoor meetings for their emplyees and provide them health spending accounts as well so that their emplyees can do better at work in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view that the situation has advantages and disadvantages, with your conclusion recommending a better work–life balance. The financial benefits and possible professional development are relevant, as are the effects on health and family life. However, the task asks you to decide whether the advantages or disadvantages are greater, and your response does not make that comparison explicit; the conclusion focuses instead on workplace rules and support. Some points also need fuller explanation: for instance, the claim that long hours help a doctor gain knowledge would be stronger with a specific explanation of how this happens. State clearly which side outweighs the other and develop that judgement throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding paragraph. Sequencing phrases such as “To start with,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main contrast, and the ideas generally progress within each paragraph. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. To make the progression more consistently smooth, avoid relying mainly on formulaic transitions and connect claims more explicitly—for example, explain how the health effects support your judgement about which side is more significant. The final paragraph introduces workplace policies, but their connection to the comparison in the essay could be clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financially independent,” “retire early,” “working skills,” and “depressed.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some topic-specific language helps the response go beyond very basic wording. However, spelling errors such as “modren,” “professionls,” “continously,” and “lonley” are noticeable, while phrases such as “do gain more knowledge” and “health spending accounts” are awkward or imprecise in context. There is also some repetition of “work” and “people.” Aim for more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your meaning more precise and help demonstrate a broader, better-controlled vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures such as “As a result…” and a relative clause in “employees who work for more hours.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “people who works” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “allow then to grow more” contains an incorrect pronoun. The opening sentence also joins two independent ideas with “as a result” without adequate punctuation, and “In addition to they choose” has an incomplete grammatical pattern. Review agreement, pronoun forms, clause boundaries, and sentence patterns, then proofread for punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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