Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern corporate era,a significant number of professionals dedicate an overwhelming portion of their days to professional obligations, resulting in severe reduction in personal downtime.While this phenomenon can sometimes accelerate short-term financial gain and career advancement,I firmly beleive that disadvantages of working for long hours far outweigh any temporary advantages as it deeply affets your physical well being and your relationships as well.

On the one hand, working for long hours or doing extra jobs financially benefits you. Employees who clock in extra hours get more bonus and extra pay as well ,moreover they get their favourable position in the comapny. Some prefer this to do savings for their future so that they can do hard work right now and save money for future when they will not be able to work hard.

On the flip side,working for long hours can lead you to certain health issues like carpel tunnel syndrome and deep venous thrombosis , these two are the major health issues that occur when you work beyound your welless and your bones become weak, you get back issues as well and eventally you get obese.

Furthermore, your relationship with your family is affected the most, they hardly get time to talk to you, your children get ignored and it affects their bond with you alot.

In my opinion, disadvantages of working for long hours are more as compared to the advantages , as saving money is a temporary advantage while fighting for your health and being distant from your family is a great disadvantage for people who work long hours.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the disadvantages of long working hours outweigh the financial and career benefits. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, especially the effects on health and family relationships. This meets the task well. However, the advantages are less fully explained: extra pay, bonuses and promotion are mentioned, but the point about saving for the future is not illustrated or developed. The health discussion also lists several conditions without clearly explaining how long hours cause them. To strengthen the response further, develop each main reason with a specific example or a clearer explanation of its consequences, while maintaining the clear position you already establish.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, the first body paragraph presents benefits, the next two explain disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your judgement. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the flip side,” and “Furthermore” help signal the movement between ideas. This organisation is effective, though the connections within some sentences are less controlled. For example, the family-effects sentence joins several consequences with commas, making the relationships between them less clear. The final paragraph also repeats the central comparison rather than adding a concluding implication. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing to make the progression smoother and less dependent on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “career advancement,” “financially benefits,” “physical well being,” and “distant from your family.” Some less common expressions, such as “overwhelming portion” and “short-term financial gain,” show an effort to express ideas precisely. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “favourable position in the company,” “do savings,” and “work beyond your wellness.” Spelling errors such as “beleive,” “comapny,” and “eventally” also reduce accuracy. These do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but careful proofreading and more natural phrasing would improve control. Aim to choose expressions that fit the intended meaning rather than relying on ambitious wording that sounds unnatural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “While” and a reason introduced by “as.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors affect accuracy. For instance, “disadvantages of working for long hours are more” needs an article or a clearer comparison, and “they hardly get time to talk to you, your children get ignored” joins independent clauses with only a comma. There are also missing spaces after full stops and commas, which make sentence boundaries harder to follow. Practise accurate article use and clause joining, and check punctuation when editing. More consistently controlled complex sentences would help you express the relationships between causes and effects clearly.

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