Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Loyalty is tool that control people around the world. Nowadays, many people are seen working for extended hours to show their loyalty to their employer, even if that cost their leisure activities. I my opinion, working long hours have more disadvantages over its advantages. Most of these people are not even paid for their overtime, because they are salaried employees. They live in a false hope that showing this kind of loyalty will help them to get promoted easily and excel in their career. Staying extra hours are only beneficial for hourly-waged employees, becuase they get paid for the extra hours they work, and give them enough visibility to get promoted as a salaried person.

A huge number people spend most of their life working extra hours by avoiding all their happiness and get nothing but ignorance from their employers. Companies want their job to be done with availbale head counts, as hiring more could result in over spending from their annual budget. So, they silently put pressure on their current workforce, especially, to their salaried employees. and give them unrealistic deadlines. As a result, these people who are so loyal and committed to work will automatically stay more hours by thinking that they will be recognized by the company one day for their hard work. Sadly, these people sacrifice all their quality time and spend all their life inside their cubicles. The aftermath of this is that, they avoid all their leisure activities and end up having life full with problems. In addition, they will be affected by lifestyle diseases like blood pressure, diabetics and so on.

While the above mentioned are the disadvatages of overtime work, there are some advantages too two side of a coin. People who are benefited by long working hours are those who are waged hourly. As they work more than their working hours, they are entitled for get a payment which one and half more than thier their regular wage. On top of that, they get enough visibility to get promoted to a higher level as well.

In conclusion, it is evident that no work is above anyone's personal lfie, and for that reason, people should start refusing to work beyond their job requirement. In other words, whatever jobs are done after one's regular hours should only be done only if their is any form og recognition.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe long working hours have more disadvantages, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address both sides, explaining that salaried workers may sacrifice leisure without extra pay, while hourly-paid workers can earn more and gain visibility. The discussion of employer pressure and possible health effects is relevant and gives the argument substance. This meets the task well, with some elements showing the fuller development expected at the next level. However, the advantages are less fully explained than the disadvantages, and claims such as workers receiving promotion or developing health problems would be stronger with a specific example or clearer explanation of how likely these outcomes are. Develop both sides with more balanced, precise support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph focused mainly on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from unpaid overtime and employer pressure to personal consequences is generally easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “As a result,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion.” At this level, however, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The transition “While the above mentioned are the disadvantages…” is awkward, and “two side of a coin” does not clearly connect the contrast. Some references, including “these people,” are repeated without always making the intended group precise. Use clearer topic sentences and more natural transitions, and ensure each paragraph develops one main point in a deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “extended hours,” “salaried employees,” “unrealistic deadlines,” “quality time,” and “lifestyle diseases.” These choices help communicate the contrast between salaried and hourly-paid workers. However, the range is not consistently controlled: several word-choice and collocation errors make parts less natural, such as “show their loyalty,” “get nothing but ignorance,” and “life full with problems.” Spelling errors, including “becuase,” “availbale,” and “disadvatages,” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are vague or overstated, such as “a huge number people” and “all their happiness.” Aim for precise, natural phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make your ideas easier to understand and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses of reason and result: “because they are salaried employees” and “As a result, these people…”. This gives the response some structural variety, and the main argument remains understandable. However, some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “Loyalty is tool” needs an article, “working long hours have” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “Staying extra hours are” also has faulty agreement. The sentence beginning “Companies want their job…” is followed by a lower-case “and,” creating an awkward sentence boundary. Review articles and agreement, and punctuate sentence boundaries carefully. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the complex sentences you are already attempting.

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