Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People need to work hard to support their families. Due to the long hours works individuals can not get enough time for engaging in leisure activities. This phenomenon has several negative impacts rather than positives. This essay discusses the disadvantages of this trend.

Admitting, working long hours helps the person to make more money and build a strong financial situation. However, working long hours without any leisure activity leads them to several health problems. Hobbies have significantly improved the mental and physical health of the indivaidual especially the activities related to sports. If the persons spent his half of the day in an office, and do nothing as a hobby would occurs heart related illness. For example, a study shows that most of the heart related disease occurs due to lack of workout because of their long schedules in the office.

Moreover, without any proper hobbies or leisure activities develop laziness and boredom in people. Individuals only doing a specific job and just sit in their house would lead to more unproductive nature, and this situation cause to obisity. Laziness and obesity are not welcoming any developments in the country, and it would harmfull for the future generation. Furthermore, without a specific leisure activity also affect the smooth runnig of the family. If people spend their most time in work place, and insufficient time for doing some activities with family members would result to breaks the bond between the family members.

Overall, leisure activities are important in everone for developing good health and smooth running of the family. Limiting hobbies would lead to creat boredom and laziness in everone life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages of long working hours outweigh the financial benefit. You address several relevant consequences, including health problems, boredom, obesity and weaker family relationships, and the example about limited exercise supports the health point. This is enough to answer the question, but the ideas are not developed equally. The financial advantage is acknowledged only briefly, while some claims—such as the effect on future generations—are asserted without explanation. The health example is also presented as a study without details that would make it convincing. To strengthen the response, explain the links between long hours and each consequence more precisely, and develop at least one example in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” help signal the direction of the argument, and the family-impact point follows naturally from the discussion of leisure. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. However, several transitions feel formulaic, and the second body paragraph groups laziness, obesity, national development and family relationships without clearly separating or connecting these ideas. Some references, such as “this situation,” are also broad. Use clearer topic sentences and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting explanation explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “leisure activities,” “financial situation,” “health problems,” “boredom,” and “family members.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “heart-related illness” and “smooth running of the family.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts less natural or occasionally difficult to interpret. Examples include “long hours works,” “do nothing as a hobby,” “not welcoming any developments,” and misspellings such as “indiv aidual,” “obisity” and “run nig.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise alternatives would make your argument clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If people spend their most time in work place…” and a contrastive opening with “However.” This shows an effort to vary sentence patterns. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Hobbies have significantly improved” does not express the intended general fact, while “would occurs” and “this situation cause” have faulty verb forms. The sentence beginning “Moreover, without any proper hobbies…” lacks a clear grammatical subject, and “would result to breaks” is not correctly formed. Practise building complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, especially in conditional sentences.

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