Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, smartphones and smart television has made an impact on the society by giving the audience TV shows, Webseries, paid Data storage, Shopping apps which provide you extra benefits if an annual fee is paid. Due to these apps, individuals pay for subscriptions annually or even monthly. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweighs the advantages.

Firstly, these apps affect people of every age group; kids, adolescent, adults and even old-aged. Paid games attract kids and due to peer pressure they're forced to buy a subscription which eventually makes them more violent as these games contain guns and axes. Secondly, it also harms the teens with movies and webshows; movies are rented and monthly suscriptions are bought in order to watch these shows which makes them watch A rated movies and can create harmful situations. In both the cases, if their parents dont buy the subscriptions they could spend the money on getting books or taking them to outdoor activities which would contribute to their physical and mental growth.

Adults also fall in these trap by buying shopping app subscriptions which gives them early access to sales and fast delivery especially groceries and essential items. People aged above 60 pay for these apps too and some of them get scammed as it is easy for the scammers to trick them. In my experience, my grandmother got scammed by sharing her credit card information on a suscription and activated an "autopay method" which automatically deducts payments every month as well as charges some or the other fee in the name of data storage or security fee. This created to unnecessary heavy bills.

In conclusion, paying for these apps create a hindrance more than it could provide aaccessibility.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you argue that the disadvantages of app-based payments and subscriptions outweigh the benefits. You support this with examples involving children, teenagers, older adults, and your grandmother’s experience, so the response is relevant to the topic. However, the task asks about paying for things using mobile phone apps, while much of your discussion focuses on the effects of paid entertainment and shopping subscriptions rather than the payment method itself. The advantages are also not explored, and some claims—such as games making children more violent—need clearer explanation or support. To strengthen the response, compare specific benefits and drawbacks of mobile payments, then develop your strongest examples with a clear link to your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, body paragraphs discuss different age groups, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing with “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the main stages. However, the progression is not always focused: the discussion moves from subscriptions and entertainment to shopping access and scams without consistently connecting these points to mobile-phone payments. Some references are also unclear, as in “these apps” and “this created,” where the exact service or consequence is not fully specified. The conclusion is very brief and does not bring together the main reasons. Use topic sentences that directly address the question, and add clearer links between each example and your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “peer pressure,” “early access,” “scammed,” and “autopay method,” which helps convey your examples. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “physical and mental growth.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “made an impact on the society,” “fall in these trap,” and “create a hindrance.” Spelling and form errors such as “suscriptions,” “Webseries,” and “aaccessibility” also reduce precision. Some phrases, including “some or the other fee,” are conversational rather than suitably formal. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling; this will make your meaning more precise without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if their parents don’t buy the subscriptions” and a relative clause in “which automatically deducts payments every month.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction affect accuracy: “smartphones and smart television has made” should use a plural verb, and “the disadvantages outweighs” has incorrect agreement. Other examples include “if an annual fee is paid” in a sentence with an unclear subject, and “This created to unnecessary heavy bills,” which is not grammatically complete. Review subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences around clear subjects and verbs. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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