Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, india a very popular country. Nowadays people some a time spend on moblie phone. Because moblie phone become a people life very easy. Masses mostly use a paying for other things. In todays rapidly changing world, this issue has become a matter of considerable debate. I vehently believed that supoeriority overshadow the staggering downside

Examing the brighter side, one of main advantages is that people life very easy and save a time. Because people mostly use the online payment app and order the online. masses some use the online payment because doing online payment very easy and fast. It moblie phone on many apps as GOOGLE PAY, PHONE PAY, other apps. Nowdays this very common.

To add more into it, they online payment anywhere go the do the use payment. Nowadays people use the online payment and not carry on money. because money not save in india. online payment give the many effort and cupan. nowadays people many inteligent and educations. they not difficult use the moblie phone.

On the contrary, I would not overlooked the disadvantage. firstly people very safe when moblie phones come in my country and use the payments apps and become a people life very easy.

To conclude after pondering over deal of delibertion and thoughts. moblie phone many advantages and disadvantages because depend on people use the moblie phones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic of mobile payments and mention possible benefits, including convenience, speed, and not needing to carry cash. However, the response only minimally answers the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the opening suggests a positive view, but the conclusion says the outcome depends on how people use phones. The disadvantages are not explained; the sentence beginning “On the contrary” instead repeats that payments make life easier. Examples such as Google Pay are named but not developed to show their impact. The response also falls short of the required minimum length, leaving little space to explain and support your position. State your view clearly, develop both sides with relevant examples, and explain why one side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and uses signposts such as “Examing the brighter side,” “To add more into it,” and “To conclude,” so the reader can recognise an intended structure. However, progression between ideas is weak: the second and third body paragraphs repeat convenience and online payment rather than adding distinct points. The contrast paragraph does not present a clear disadvantage, and the conclusion introduces a position that is not consistent with the opening. Several sentences are fragments or loosely connected, for example, “Because people mostly use the online payment app and order the online.” Organise the essay around one clear point per paragraph, connect each explanation to that point, and use contrast markers only when the idea genuinely contrasts.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “online payment,” “apps,” “carry on money,” and “advantages and disadvantages,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “matter of considerable debate.” However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with “easy,” “people,” and “online payment” appearing frequently. Several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “supoeriority overshadow the staggering downside,” “give the many effort,” and “not save in india.” Spelling errors, including “moblie,” “Examing,” and “delibertion,” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate range for discussing convenience, security, costs, and access, and check spelling and collocations. Prefer clear, precise wording over formal phrases you cannot yet control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, including “Because people mostly use…” and “because depend on people use the moblie phones,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and many are incomplete or difficult to follow. Examples include “In the modern era, india a very popular country,” which lacks a complete verb structure, and “Nowadays people use the online payment and not carry on money,” where the verb forms are not parallel. Articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries are also often inaccurate, as in “moblie phone become a people life very easy.” These errors frequently interrupt the reader’s understanding. Practise building complete subject–verb sentences first, then combine ideas with accurate clauses, and check verb forms, articles, and punctuation.

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