Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Currently, due to the digitalization, it is possible to pay for various bills online which had reduced the hassle of standing in a queue for hours and offered flexibility with discounts on payment through applications. Although, it has offered convenience its major drawbacks like cyber crime and leaking personal information online cannot be overlooked.
On constructive side , it is possible for a costumer to pay for various utility bills online with perks of offered discounts and cashback schemes. Like initially people struggled to wait in a long queue to get their bills payed and had to travel long distances for it. So this trend has offered them with convenience and flexibility to pay bills without any hassle through online payments such as , paytm application is used by millions of people across. Moreover, it has reduced the necessity to carry large sum of cash in wallets , which made it vulnerable to robbery. As a result public at large now prefer to pay for their services virtually through mobile applications.
However , there always exist a risk of being victim of fradulent activities. Certain applications and websites are vulnerable to online and often make our bank information and other personal details accessible to hackers. As a result they often demand payments by the means of fake bill payments and providing services online. Such as there is no standard based on which a genuine application can be distingused from the fradulent so innocent customers are often victimised by these practices. Public around should be extremely vigilant when dealing with money online.
Overall, though paying bills online has offered discounts and convenience its demerits of major money related cyber crimes and hacking of the personal information are aspects which cannot be ignored and requires purchaser to be extremely vigilant while dealing with it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both sides of the question and make your overall view clear: convenience and discounts are outweighed by risks such as fraud and the exposure of personal information. The examples of paying utility bills and avoiding queues are relevant, as is the concern about fake payment services. However, the discussion is not fully developed in places. For example, the benefits are mainly listed rather than explained with a specific illustration, and the claim that online payments reduce robbery risk could be linked more clearly to mobile-app payments. Your conclusion repeats the main points but could state more directly why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Develop each key idea with a clear explanation or example to make the argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on risks, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two main body paragraphs helps the reader follow your argument, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “As a result” show an attempt to connect ideas. At times, though, the links feel mechanical or the relationship between sentences is unclear. For instance, “As a result they often demand payments” does not clearly identify who “they” refers to, and the example beginning “Such as” is not smoothly integrated. Use clearer referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports; this would make the progression more fluent.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “flexibility,” “cashback schemes,” “vulnerable,” “fraudulent activities,” and “personal details.” These choices help communicate both the benefits and risks of app-based payments, and some less common terms are attempted. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “on constructive side,” “costumer,” “pay their bills payed,” and “standard based on which a genuine application can be distinguished.” Spelling errors such as “fradulent” and “distingused” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully; precise phrasing will make your ideas easier to understand without changing their meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the opening and clauses introduced by “which” and “so.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “Although, it has offered convenience its major drawbacks” is not correctly punctuated or structured; “there always exist a risk” has a subject–verb agreement problem; and “which made it vulnerable” does not clearly agree with the preceding idea. Commas are also often placed before spaces or used where a sentence boundary is needed. Practise building complex sentences with clear clause boundaries, and check agreement and punctuation during revision.
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