Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Online payments became the trend in various countries, majority of people are using moline phone applications nowadays. This essay will discuss the benefits of this phenomenon in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the first and foremost advantage of this trend is convenience and result oriented. To explain, online banking is done from the mobile phone as it helps to save time and easy way to excess the account information and finances by providing the user id and password. Besides this, physical appearance at banks are not required to withdraw money for various purposes. For example, The headline of local newspaper The Times Of India states that in 2025, 85% adult started using the mobile applications for the daily payments. Thus, Online banking provided the convenient and faster way to excess the funds in banks.

On the top of that, paying from cellphones helped to reduce the crime and frauds. To elaborate, rate of theft and snatching is declined after the introduction of online bank applications. Furthermore, as people do cashless transactions where no physical money is involved chances of fraud became almost negative. For instance, the survey conducted by Reserve Bank Of India (RBI) states that 90% of crimes are recorded in 2023, were related to the cash theft, which decline to 65% in year2025. Though, online payments provides safety and security to the citizens.

In conclusion, although Online payment methods provide the security and easy excess to funds through mobile application. But, cyber crime rates are also increasing with trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of mobile payments, but it fails to provide a balanced view. The prompt asks whether there are more advantages or disadvantages, yet the essay focuses almost exclusively on benefits, only mentioning cybercrime in the final sentence. This lack of development regarding the disadvantages means the position is not fully explored. While the ideas are relevant, the conclusion is abrupt and does not effectively weigh the two sides of the argument. To improve, you should dedicate at least one full paragraph to the potential drawbacks to ensure a more comprehensive and balanced response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commence with the first and foremost advantage' and 'On the top of that'. The transition between ideas is occasionally abrupt, and the concluding paragraph is underdeveloped, failing to provide a clear summary of the argument. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help your ideas flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation. For example, you use 'excess' instead of 'access' and 'moline' instead of 'mobile'. Phrases like 'result oriented' and 'physical appearance at banks' are not used in a natural way. While your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points, the frequent errors in word choice and spelling prevent you from reaching a higher band. Focus on learning the correct context for common business and technology-related terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'rate of theft... is declined'), article usage (e.g., 'in year2025'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Online banking provided the convenient and faster way'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalisation and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses.

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