Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the era of Gen Z, the way of paying bills is effectively changed as many citizens are paying by smart devices, which seems secure, reliable and convenient. However, the over-reliance on cellphones, without proper precautions can lead to financial lost.

On the one hand, it is universally acknowledged that smart-phones have become a medium of part and parcel of every human-begin lives. Furthermore, It not only contributes for communication, but widely accepted for successful bank transactions. As we can observed that, nowadays, online banking apps permit users to make any transactions within a second including grocery, transport, other Miscellaneous bills, which tend to more convenient and smarter. Apart from it, the emergence may embrace those who are in needs in terms of buying meals, paying rents or educating their kids. To exemplify, Recently, I accounted that supporters, understandably, are assisting young one's by online ordering and delivering food for the protesters of NEET exam conspiracy. In a consequence, the evolution could be win-win situation for the society.

On the other hand, the downside of such trend cannot be undermined. Firstly, as we usually aware with the system that black hackers may steal users bank data and initiate it for wrong purposes. So, it might be the concern regarding data privacy. Hence, before initiating the unsecured payment applications or websites, it should be noted to deep investigate it.

To recapitulate, after carefully considering both viewpoints, I, although, concur that certain activity could lead to negative repercussions, but it can be prevent by balanced approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps, fulfilling the prompt requirements. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding the NEET exam is slightly confusing and lacks a clear connection to the broader argument about mobile payments. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more logical, universally applicable examples rather than specific, niche events. The conclusion is present but could be more robust in summarizing the main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'To recapitulate'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Apart from it' or 'In a consequence'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'universally acknowledged', 'repercussions', and 'miscellaneous'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'financial lost' (should be 'loss'), 'human-begin lives' (should be 'human lives'), and 'deep investigate' (should be 'investigate deeply'). These errors occasionally impede the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that you use the correct word forms (nouns vs. adjectives/verbs) in your sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, such as 'It not only contributes for communication, but widely accepted' (missing subject/verb agreement) and 'As we can observed that' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. These errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader, although the overall meaning remains understandable. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement will help you achieve greater accuracy.

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