Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

By using mobile phone applications these days to pay the bills has become the matter of concern. This approach has both plausible and peril outcomes.

Certainly, with the help of applications like Google pay and Phone pay are most common applications. The young generation these days love to us these apps to save their time. In this modern era, most people have hectic schedules and they do not have time to go to banks and wait in long queues to withdraw the money. Therefore, they like to do all the transactions from various applications rather than waiting for long time at bank. It saves time.

Subsequently, to check the transaction history in the application is another advantageous factor. As one can easily check the details of the amount, with this it would be more easy to get the details of expenses for whole month. Although with this new technological development, it has become difficult to control on monthly expenses but chances of getting theft of hard cash is less.

On the other side, cyber crime has huge impact on people using the online transactions. These days there are a lot of crimes happened after the online payment method introducing in the market. For the hackers, it is easy to hack someone's id and take benefit from their personal bank account.

In an inference the associative and constructive steps should be taken by the government so that one can easily use their account online. There should be high authentication security on each account so that it would be rare chances of money loss through online platform.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps. However, the position is not fully developed. While you mention time-saving and security benefits, the discussion on disadvantages is somewhat limited and lacks specific examples. The introduction is slightly unclear, as the phrase 'matter of concern' suggests a negative focus, whereas the essay explores both sides. To improve, ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and that each body paragraph provides a more balanced and detailed exploration of the points raised. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and could better summarize the main arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Subsequently' to introduce a new point or 'In an inference' to start the conclusion. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, making the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases more naturally to connect your ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'plausible and peril outcomes' (which should be 'positive and negative outcomes') and 'getting theft of hard cash' (which is grammatically incorrect). While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'transactions' and 'cyber crime', the overall range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more accurately and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'By using mobile phone applications these days to pay the bills has become the matter of concern' is a fragmented sentence structure. Other issues include subject-verb agreement and incorrect preposition usage, such as 'control on monthly expenses' instead of 'control over'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement.

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