Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the modern era,these days many countries use online payments system in mobile phone that is more increase right now. While are multifarious app and websites available for online payments related and there are many drowback increase due to use more online payments systems.This essay will discuss many views but more outweigh superiority during using app and websites related by payments.
On the one hand,Mobile made voluminous app because of they are easy process payments system whole world leaves. Firstly, Technology take mobile use many app like phone pay, google pay, UPI payment, Paytm many more app and some website like PayPal, Upwork, Guru, freelancer.Secondly,Online payments take process very fast like save time during any payment on apps and websites using, another thinks lack use cash and cheques.
For example, Technology helps people can esay way use these days such as more time save and fast process take using above app using and many increase dominance.
On the onther hand,In these days more increase complication on more use app and websites because lack of security during use payment process another many views.Therefore,Many time more use those type of online platforms they are very dangers like people face problems due to hacke many mobile and use payments app then withrow more amounts.Furthermore,Bank details and personal password details share social website then many hacke use those details then use costumers bank accounts then withrow amounts and taken more fords by hackes.
To recapitulate, Whole world more use online payments app and websites these are good for international industry and many corporate company use payment process fast and save time more.Therefore,online payments security lack of responsibility for any downside due to and error and any fords take them people then must stick action by government.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment systems. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention benefits like speed and convenience, the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth. Similarly, the disadvantages regarding security are mentioned but not fully explored with clear, logical examples. The position is clear, but the overall argument would benefit from more specific, well-developed examples rather than just listing app names like 'Paytm' or 'Google Pay'. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by a detailed explanation and a relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed due to the misuse of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'another thinks' and 'many increase dominance' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of information. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic between sentences. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' more accurately and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'drowback increase', 'voluminous app', and 'taken more fords'. These errors occasionally make it difficult to grasp the intended meaning. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use more sophisticated terms accurately. To improve, try to learn collocations (words that naturally go together) and focus on using more precise terminology related to technology and finance, such as 'digital transactions', 'cybersecurity threats', or 'financial efficiency'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and word order. For example, 'Technology take mobile use' and 'hacke many mobile' are grammatically incorrect and impede clarity. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you are using the correct tense for the context.
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