Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other people think that there are better alternative ways to reduce crime.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has been an issue of a debate among individual whether criminals should be punished with longer prison sentences or other approaches can be better outcomes. Although I will discuss both views, and I agree with the later view, which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the people who think that keeping offenders for longer period of time may be good for society. They are very scared from them they think that if criminals get out from prison in less time, they could harm the individuals again. For examples, a survey conducted by local newspaper in 2020 revealed that 6 out of 10 criminal activities has done by offenders who already had been in the jail once. Furthermore, it is also a belief that if there is strong punishment, there will be less illegal activities in the country. Consequently, they want the government to prison them for longer period of time.

However, I side with those who think there are other ways, such as education. Most of people who are uneducated most of time indulge in bad activities and ended up in the jails. The authority must teach the prisoner about the right and wrong since most of them is underaged. Not only should the government give education, but they should also teach them any skills, which play an important role to earn livings. In other words, these skills will helps them to find jobs and discourage them to indulge in offensive activities to earn money.

In my opinion, although increasing prison time may teach lesson to criminals, I believe if we really want them to avoid crime activities the nation must teach them social and work skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the advantages and disadvantages of using mobile phone apps for payments, but the essay discusses the merits of long prison sentences versus rehabilitation for criminals. Because the response fails to address the task prompt entirely, it cannot be awarded a passing score for Task Achievement. While the student does discuss two views and provides an opinion, these are irrelevant to the actual question posed. To improve, it is essential to read the prompt carefully and ensure the content directly answers the specific question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'However', though some are used mechanically. The progression of ideas within the paragraphs is generally clear, even though the content itself is irrelevant to the prompt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints. If the content were relevant, the structure would be sufficient for a higher band, but the lack of connection to the task limits the overall effectiveness of the discourse.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, though it is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. The student uses terms like 'offenders', 'illegal activities', and 'rehabilitation' (implied), which are relevant to the topic of crime. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'it has been an issue of a debate among individual' instead of 'individuals', and 'earn livings' instead of 'earn a living'. The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but it does not demonstrate the flexibility or precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as '6 out of 10 criminal activities has done' (should be 'have been done') and 'most of them is underaged' (should be 'are underage'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice.

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