Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this Tech and Artificial Intelligence led Era, we see drastic change when it comes to using cellphones, the applications, etc. This generation is making the most use of it in every possible manner. One of it is making payments using applications in your cellphones. For example: Apple Pay, Google Pay, UPI payments, Bank Applications, etc. Every coin has two sides and in a way, this situation also has advantages and disadvantages too.

Firstly, talking about the positive side of this, we see this situation has made payments so easier for the people right from children, youngsters, parents and our old grandparents too. We see in many countries while entering the bus, doing online payments, travelling by train and getting any tickets, groceries, etc has become too easier with this mode of payment method being widely used. Whereas if we talk about the hustle in this we see its just a one time setup and there is so much ease and less time being consumed in cash, notes, coins, etc.

Subsequently, lets look at the other side of the coin, wherein we see there are a lot of cybercrimes, threats, etc increasing. One example of this is by leakage of data via the online applications where all our data including personal and bank information is kept in. This leads to a lot of disruptance in our activities as it could make all our hard earned money into stake. However in the generation of Technology there are various ways to overcome this using cybersecurity and data protection tools and services which have been made mandatory by the governments of the respective countries. But at the same time, no solution can guarantee you hundred percent security.

To conclude, we see that every side irrespective of the situation has a good and bad way on analysing. However due to bad, we cannot let the good things not shine and fade away. So, in this manner I feel that this development of using mobile phones and applications or online payment modes and systems have a good and positive impact.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the discussion on cybercrime mentions data leakage but lacks specific examples or a deeper analysis of the impact. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the existence of pros and cons rather than synthesizing the argument effectively. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your points, ensuring that the development of each argument is balanced and thorough.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Subsequently', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the sentence 'Whereas if we talk about the hustle in this we see its just a one time setup' is slightly awkward and lacks a clear connection to the previous point. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'this situation' which is used repeatedly without specific antecedents. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cybercrimes', 'data protection', and 'online payment modes'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'make all our hard earned money into stake' (should be 'at stake') and 'disruptance' (which is not standard English). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on common words. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and precise academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater nuance and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('this situation also has advantages and disadvantages too') and incorrect preposition usage ('in the generation of Technology'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempting more varied, error-free complex sentence structures will help improve your performance in this criterion.

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