Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this technical era, it has significantly increased that using phones for online transactions which become quite convenient and faster. However, i opine that it has advantages outweigh the drawbacks due to many reasons.

On the one hand, Online transaction has a lot of benefits not only to the users but also to the others. On the top of that is convenience and faster. To explicate it, online transfers are done within seconds without carrying so many cards and cash that saves precious time. For instance, when covid 19 hit, there were some restrictions for physical contact between customers and buyers so that this trend followed by people. Furthermore, no risk of carrying money as it requires first recognisation, facial identification and passwords to continue the payment. As a result, paying by phones is quite useful because it safe and easy to use.

On the other hand, although it has far more merits, online payment has also few demerits which could be experienced. Firstly, older people are not completely familiar with such technology due to this, they mat suffer to adapt this this. Moreover, network issue could be another disadvantage. To illustrate, some times payment time could be issue of network failure which leads to delays and stress among customers and shoppers due to this some buyer prefer cash.

In conclusion, even though online payment is quite comfortable to use like faster and timesaving, cash is still used by grey hair individuals as they could face difficulty to operate such technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, ultimately taking a clear position that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about 'facial identification' is a good start but lacks depth regarding how it specifically enhances security. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, merely restating the points made in the body paragraphs rather than synthesising them. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your examples with more specific detail or logical consequences, ensuring that the arguments are fully explored rather than just mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'On the top of that is convenience and faster'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'this trend followed by people' which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'quite convenient', 'quite useful', and 'quite comfortable'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'first recognisation' (likely meaning 'biometric authentication') and 'grey hair individuals' (which is an informal, slightly inappropriate idiom for an academic essay). To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and avoid repetitive or overly informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'it has significantly increased that using phones', 'they mat suffer to adapt this this', and 'some times payment time could be issue'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct preposition usage would be highly beneficial.

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