Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the recent years, payment methods have evolved significantly and a vast majortity of people are relying on their mobile phones to pay for their purchases. Although it has several drawbacks, I believe advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, There are many cons of using a mobile phone to make a purchase. The most common disadvantage is privacy protection. Using mobile phone to complete a purchase often leaves a digital footprint and your personal details can easily be tracked by a third person. for example, any unauthorized person can misuse your card details which can cause significant inconvenience. In addition, many people are not tech-savy and often find it difficult to pay through cell phones, especially the elderly people. They are more prone to scammers as they do not know how to use mobile phones properly.

On the other hand, there are several pros of making payments through cellphones. The major advantage is flexibility and convinience. Young generation often find it easy because they make payment anytime and from anywhere. They do not have to carry cash or other credit/debit cards with them all the time. Moreover, Payments done using mobile devices are easy to track. People can check their bank accounts in one tap to manage their banks. Thus, cell phones payments are becoming popular in young generation.

In conclusion, where mobile phones have made life easier for some people in a way that they can use it conviniently and mange their accounts easily, it can be challenging for some old generation and individuals are more prone to scammers and online hackers. I still belive that mobile phones are an effective way to make transactions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the task and maintained a clear position throughout the essay. You successfully identified both advantages and disadvantages, providing relevant examples such as privacy concerns and the convenience of digital tracking. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about the elderly being 'tech-savy' could be expanded further to explain the societal impact of this digital divide. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more depth and nuance. Your conclusion clearly restates your position, which helps in maintaining a consistent argument throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In addition' to guide the reader. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more sophisticated. For example, in the second paragraph, the link between 'digital footprint' and 'unauthorized person' is clear, but the flow could be improved by using more varied linking phrases. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a central topic, which contributes to the overall coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'digital footprint,' 'unauthorized,' and 'transactions.' There are some spelling errors, such as 'majortity,' 'tech-savy,' 'convinience,' and 'mange,' which slightly detract from the quality of the writing. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is occasionally lacking. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and try to incorporate more precise collocations to express your ideas more naturally. The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'In the recent years' (should be 'In recent years'), 'young generation' (should be 'the young generation'), and 'cell phones payments' (should be 'cell phone payments'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips that occur throughout the text. To achieve a higher score, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring they remain error-free will also help improve your score in this criterion.

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