Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In the contemporary era, the use of mobile phones to make payments is becoming increasingly common. Although this development has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks particularly in terms of convenience and efficiency.
Commencing with its merits, the foremost and pivotal advantage is that paying through apps is more convenient and reliable. Furthermore, all transactions are automatically saved in the activity log, allowing users to keep track of their spending easily. For example, For example, if someone wants to buy a dress but does not have enough cash, they can simply pay using their mobile phone.
n the other hand, this development is not without its drawbacks. One significant disadvantage is that people can become victims of hackers when using digital payment apps. Cybercriminals may steal users' personal and financial information, which can result in serious financial losses. For instance, my mother once received a phone call from someone who claimed that her bank account had been blocked and advised her to transfer her money to another account. The caller then asked her to share an OTP, which could have allowed him to access her account and steal her money.
In conclusion, although mobile payment technology has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks. It provides greater convenience and efficiency, although users should remain cautious about potential security risks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages and clearly states a position. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the points regarding convenience and security are relevant, they are not fully extended. The example provided about the mother is a bit tangential as it describes a phishing scam rather than a direct vulnerability of mobile payment apps themselves. To reach a higher band, you must expand your arguments with more depth and ensure the word count is met to allow for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, there is a minor error in the second paragraph where 'For example' is repeated, and the start of the third paragraph has a typo ('n the other hand'). Despite these minor mechanical issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with terms like 'contemporary era', 'pivotal advantage', and 'cybercriminals' demonstrating a reasonable range. The word choice is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items. For instance, instead of 'paying through apps', you could use 'digital payment platforms' or 'contactless transaction methods'. The current range is adequate but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically accurate, and the meaning is always clear. There are a few minor errors, such as the missing 'O' at the start of the third paragraph and the repetition of 'For example'. While you demonstrate control over basic grammar, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. To achieve a higher score, aim to vary your sentence patterns further and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate minor slips.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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