Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, paid applications has gained immense popularity. Individuals make online payments even for small things like groceries or travel expenses. This essay intends to analyze the advantages as well as the disadvantages of this development in the following paragraphs.

To embark upon, there are a plethora of benefits behind this trend. The cardinal one is, convenience and speed in payment. To elaborate it, people can make payment in seconds without carrying cash or card which simplifies every day purchases.A salient example is that, people living in Canada can add their cards to Apple Pay and can easily pay for transport, food, or online services within seconds, reducing waiting times and improving overall efficiency. Additionally, digital payments often provide transaction records, which help individuals manage their finances more effectively. Ultimately, this is a great method to make payments.

Conversely, there are few drawbacks of this trend. The primary one is, availability of server. To elucidate it, people can utilize convenience of mobile paying apps in only the areas where proper network connection is available . Furthermore, risk of security. To explain it, these days many fake applications are available in market from personal details can be theft or there are more chances of hacking. For instance, an article published by The New York Times in 2021 stated that 80 % of private data is leaked through UPI payment apps. Thus, using these apps can be concern of safety and security.

To recapitulate, a significant number of merits are associated with online payment application however, demerits cannot be overlooked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps, fulfilling the prompt's requirements. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the discussion on security risks relies on a specific claim that lacks depth in its explanation. While the essay covers all parts of the task, the conclusion is very brief and fails to summarize the main arguments or provide a final synthesis of the position. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your supporting points and ensure your conclusion reflects the depth of the preceding analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To embark upon,' 'Additionally,' and 'Conversely,' to link your thoughts. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or unnatural. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the lack of a substantial concluding paragraph weakens the overall coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cardinal,' 'salient,' and 'recapitulate.' However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'availability of server' is not the standard way to describe network connectivity, and 'can be theft' is grammatically incorrect. You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical context. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to digital finance would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'paid applications has gained' (subject-verb agreement), 'To elaborate it' (incorrect usage), and 'can be concern of safety' (missing article). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To achieve a higher score, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your complex sentence structures are grammatically sound. Proofreading for these minor but frequent errors will significantly improve your score.

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