Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In recent years, rapid technological advancements have led people to change their financial transactions in several ways, with payment through mobile phones becoming highly common in many countries. Although this trend has eliminated cash transactions and offers financial transparency, I believe there are more disadvantages, such as cybercrime and dependence on technology, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

One of the main disadvantages of this trend is that there are high cybersecurity and privacy risks. Phone systems can be unlocked through various hacking techniques if they get stolen and your card information, along with your personal details in the banking system, could be misused. Additionally, some banks have spending limits on credit card transactions. Large payments can be rejected over the limit when used through mobile apps.

Another reason is dependency on technology. Payments made through cellphones can fail due to technical problems such as dead batteries or poor internet connections. Moreover, older people or those who are not comfortable with technology may struggle to make payments through mobile phones and prefer traditional methods, such as cash. Some elderly people find difficulties tracking their budget with a mobile phone as they can not restrict their spending using it.

Overall, although it is easier to pay with mobile phones, I believe that mobile phone transactions should be carefully used as they pose the risk of data breaches, identity theft and difficulties using technology for those who are unaware of it. To avoid the fear of cybercrime, one should adopt other methods such as cash payments.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy7.0
Overall7.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant, focusing on cybersecurity, technical failure, and accessibility issues. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about credit card spending limits is not clearly linked to the broader argument about mobile payments, and the discussion on the elderly could be more deeply explored with specific examples. While the position is clear throughout, the arguments could benefit from more detailed elaboration to reach a higher band, as some points feel slightly superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Overall' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally mechanical. For example, the transition between the risk of hacking and the issue of credit card limits in the second paragraph is abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the essay would benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication. You use some topic-specific terms like 'financial transactions', 'cybersecurity', 'data breaches', and 'identity theft'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler phrasing. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'carefully used' when referring to transactions. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to technology and finance to demonstrate a more flexible control of language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is generally good control over grammar, and errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. For example, 'Some elderly people find difficulties tracking their budget' is grammatically sound, though 'find it difficult to track' would be more natural. There are occasional minor slips, such as 'as they can not restrict their spending using it', which is slightly clunky. Overall, the sentence control is consistent, but a greater variety of complex structures would elevate the score.

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