Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, using online applications for payment becomes more popular in most of the countries. This effect has more advantages comparing than their drawbacks. In this essay I will mention supporting reasons and real world examples for this trend.

People do not use wallet for daily shoppings. There most of the citizens who do not want to carry their purse and cash. Because most of the shopping centres using paypal, google pay, etc. For example, using these applications can give them to fredom to purchase anything anytime without having tension wheather they have liquid money or wallet. Just they to connect bank accounts via online payment application and tap there phone or scan the QR codes of merchandise.

These applications also provide different benefits. If anyone want to send money urgently does not matter domestic or international they can send money urgetly via these apps. Via these ways individuals can saves lots of time and they do not want to appear in the bank in-person. However, in few countries, government has been banned for using these method and they are stll depending on old method of receiving payments. As a result, these countries are behind in terms of economy, digital developing and even in educations. For example, North Korea is more behind regarding in digitalization because prime minister of North Korea has been banned most of these application in his country.

In conclusion, using online applications such as, paypal, google pay gives people to freedom of shopping without having physical money with them and also people can send money instantly with visiting bank. I believe that digitalization has more benefits than their drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of mobile payments and providing a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention convenience and international transfers, the explanation of these points is brief. The example regarding North Korea is a bit tangential and does not directly support the argument about the advantages of mobile payments as effectively as a more common example might. To improve, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the 'why' and 'how' of your arguments, providing more depth to your reasoning rather than just listing benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the connection between ideas is weak, such as the transition into the paragraph about government bans. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'these ways' or 'these method'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help you achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'digitalization', 'merchandise', and 'international'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'liquid money' (instead of 'cash'), 'digital developing' (instead of 'digital development'), and 'without visiting bank' (missing an article). Some phrases are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'these applications'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise terminology to express your ideas, which will make your writing sound more natural and sophisticated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'most of the shopping centres using'), missing articles (e.g., 'in bank'), and incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'banned for using'). Some sentences are also structurally incomplete or awkward, such as 'Just they to connect bank accounts'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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