Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent time, the use of different mobile applications for payments has been increased. This development has definitely brought numerous advantages for mankind than disadvantages and is a positive development overall. In this essay, I will explain how this is a positive developments and what are its drawbacks.

To commence with, the advancement in technology has built softwares and applications that we can use to pay our bills, groceries and money transfers. It has multiple benefits firstly, there is no need to carry extra cash and cards with us. we can save our cards and info on these mobile applications and use these to pay by just tapping or scanning the code. Secondly, it is very simple and easy to use. Moreover, this is more secure because we can secure our payment information by locking these apps by using pin or face lock. In addition, we have all the details where and how much we spend so we don't need to write it seprately in our notebooks. These applications are very convenient. For instance, I use Remitly every month to send money to my back home in order to support my family financially. It really saves my time without requiring to go financial institutes such as banks.

Furthermore, they really saves our time and energy. we don't need to to ATM or bank for deposit or withdraw our money. This is the biggest issue which is quite common to see in developing countries like India. In banks and ATM'S there are always long queues where people eagerly wait for their money. However, apps like paytm are being used by people but still most of the shopkeepers ask for cash only. In those scenerio mobile apps not only help lay men but also authorities as well. Despite these benefits, this approach has some shortcomings too. The major concern for this is privacy of data and information of individuals because someone might hack these devices and transfer money in their account. Last but not the least banks get to know about our each activities like where, when and how much we are spending.

In conclusion, every coin has its two sides. Online banking is the need of an hour and is convenient to use which is beneficial for both government and people. However, for security tech companies and authorities should work so that people can trust on them and use those apps safely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the development is positive while acknowledging the drawbacks. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported with personal examples, such as the use of Remitly. However, the development of the disadvantages section is slightly less balanced compared to the advantages, and some points, such as the mention of shopkeepers preferring cash, are a bit tangential to the core argument of mobile payment benefits. Overall, the position is consistent, and the main ideas are sufficiently extended to meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'In addition'. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or repetitive, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the referencing in some areas could be more precise to ensure a smoother transition between the benefits and the potential risks mentioned in the latter part of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial institutes', 'data privacy', and 'online banking'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'softwares' (which is uncountable) and 'lay men' (which should be 'laymen'). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'seprately' and 'scenerio'. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring the correct form of nouns and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('they really saves our time') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing commas and incorrect capitalization after periods. While the student attempts complex structures, these are often marred by minor errors. The majority of sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization would significantly improve the accuracy.

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