Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years there have been unprecedented growth of using mobile phones, and it has not been affordable for public due to paying money for receiving subscription for apps. While this trend has significant positive affects for earning money without working hard and accessibilities of new technology, there are negative effects such as it increased unnecessary expenditure, and time consuming access.

In positive side, there are numerous distinct advantages associated with paying money for the apps. Firstly, people could earn money without having an employment, which can become a source of income to feed their family; consequently, unemployment ration could be reduced. For example, for getting Chat-Gpt subscription people need to purchase at cost of $30 per month; resulting maker of this app earn more and more if it become popular among individuals. Secondly, most likely paying apps offer access of integral files, documents or knowledge that people can learn at their own comfort zone without commuting anywhere, which would be ultimately an cheaper option then spending money on institutions.

Despite having these aforementioned benefits, there are several notable drawbacks that cannot be overlooked. The chief detrimental effect would be unproportional expenditure on the apps without having necessity that creates waste of money; hence, it makes people broke and create financial stress. Furthermore, in contemporary era after getting subscription for the gaming app such as Mario and PUBG that creates detrimental effects on kids physical health. To say this, kids spend more likely to spend their leisure time on playing games on phones , and it creates them deterrent to play outdoor games; resulting, they could become couch potato and might this leads to obesity.

To conclude, although paying for getting access for the app on phones has substantial benefits for the employment and acquiring knowledge purpose, the detrimental effect on financial burden and kids physical health ultimately concerning factor for the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payment apps. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. The argument regarding earning money without employment is not clearly linked to the prompt about mobile payment apps, making the logic difficult to follow. While you provide examples like ChatGPT and gaming apps, the connection between 'paying for things' and 'earning money' is tenuous. To improve, ensure your arguments directly relate to the specific topic of mobile payment systems rather than general app usage. The position is clear, but the supporting points require more logical cohesion to be fully convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Despite having these aforementioned benefits' to signal transitions. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'To say this' when introducing an explanation. Additionally, the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context will help achieve a more natural and sophisticated flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'unprecedented', 'detrimental', and 'expenditure'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'unemployment ration' (instead of 'rate'), 'unproportional expenditure' (instead of 'disproportionate'), and 'creates them deterrent' (instead of 'acts as a deterrent'). These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, focus on learning the specific contexts in which words are used and pay closer attention to collocations to ensure your writing sounds more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('there have been unprecedented growth'), article usage ('on positive side'), and awkward sentence construction ('it has not been affordable for public due to paying money'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your points, they occur frequently enough to be noticeable. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors like articles and verb forms will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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